Love hurts...

Numb pain, emotions hide
Blank face, lonely inside
Lingering thoughts, aimless goals
Unanswered questions, impatient soul.

Broken trust, shattered dreams
Non healing scar, heart bleeds
Enlightened mind, delusive fear
Merciless love, SELF DROWNING TEARS…

Life shared, Life lived.

The following is the anthem / song written for Narmada Kidney Foundation, a NGO associated with promotion of organ donation....surprisingly, it turned out to be my first studio recorded song ;-)

Today's the time, today's the platform
There is no tomorrow to choose from
Today's the time,
We are ready to donate our organs ?

Zaroorat hai ab, angon ki humko yahan
Marne ke baad, le jaoge tum kahan,
Kyun naa de inko zindagi kaa naam ?

Baat pate kii sunlo hamari ,
Ang daan karke, zindagi badalte hai hum,
Narmada Kidney Foundation..

Angon kaa, jo karte ho tum daan,
Mrityu mein de do jeevan daan,
Swarg milega,
Hai satya yeh.....

Aao, donors kaa de hum saath,
Recepients ke haaton mein haath,
Dil jaan se, unko salaam......

Kyun naa de inko inko zindagi kaa naam ?

Baat pate kii sunlo hamari ,
Ang daan karke, zindagi badalte hai hum,
Narmada Kidney Foundation,
Narmada Kidney Foundation....

The Intern Song.

Intern Intern mujhe bulate,
Phone karke subah uthate,
Collections se main toh pak gaya yaar...

Bhagne ke main bahane dhundta,
Housie Reg kii gaali sunta,
Flight mode pe mobile chodta yaar...

Angio daal ke pak gaya hoon,
CT scans se thak gaya hoon,
Torture kab tak jhelunga main yaar...

Personal kaam mujhse karwate,
Chai nashta hum hain laate,
Saale, paise dene se katrate yaar...

Co intern mera kamina,
Mushkil kar deta woh jeena,
Kaamchor externs aate kyun hain yaar...

Sikhne ko kuch milta nahin,
Mama banke phirta wahin,
Completion ko main toh marta yaar...

Kab hogi degree haath mein,
Jeb mein paise, stetho saath mein,
Uss din kaa toh intezar hai yaar....

The Art of Living.

The following is a work of fiction and bears no resemblance to any person living or dead. The author takes no responsibility of your moron IQ to believe it and it cannot be used in a court of law as materialistic evidence. Reader’s discretion is advised.

Remember, the old school days…Ever since we were small and started going through the tough ordeal of giving exams, we began our fight to be the best….get the best marks so that we could be the tinkle of our teachers eyes...study hard…copying was considered a sin initially by us all because parents always taught, “Nakal utarna, gandi baat”.

But as the studies became more tough, competition becomes more fierce and intense during school, the urge came from within that if everyone is doing it, why shouldn’t we…initially, it begins as a “chu chu” to your neighbor and progresses to sitting with the answer sheet held straight vertically for the person sitting behind to see….and so with soaring confidence levels and the sense of achievement post exam without being caught, we begin the journey to be the masters of copying, till we stop giving exams forever…

I’m writing this because looking at the current scenario in college, everyone being bombarded with exams… all my juniors sitting in the RR looking rather worried, I cant help but get lost in those memories of me being in their place during my UG days…I would be wrong to say, “batch mein, sabse jyada meri hii phatti rehti thi”… after all, we were all in the same boat…THICK BOOKS, THICK BOOKS EVERYWHERE AND NOT THE TIME TO READ !! Nevertheless, giving internal exams used to be so much fun…

So after going through countless never ending exams in 4.5 years, Every Munnabhai and Munnibehen MBBS learn the following tricks of the exam trade...

Step 1-While preparing for the exam, inquire if any Reg has seen the question paper and is kind enough to share the vital piece of information. Be in touch with people from the hostel even if you have not spoken to them for the entire year.

Step 2- Pray that an intern / friendly houseman is sent as the invigilator so that he/she can stand at the door as a guard, may be help as a partner in crime and warn you when the seniors are around.

Step 3- Check if the micro Xeroxes have come properly without the last words missing and the mobile has proper network coverage for its GPRS for E books.

Step 4- Try going early to catch the second last bench (last benchers are usually called forward) in the corner row and make a scholar sit next to you with tall colleagues in front.

Step 5- Purely based on skills and guts…to have an open book in your lap with the best watch dogs around, never get caught while passing answer sheets, sitting in a posture with the entire answer visible to your neighbor…and lastly, good acting skills with a real tear even if you get caught (Gender bias exists here too….there exists a misconception that girls never copy)
In every exam, the person sitting in the middle row on the first bench is the most unlucky person in the batch. He curses his luck….the back benchers can’t stop themselves from laughing every time THE ONE looks back and makes an eye contact….Also, I consider them unlucky too who have geeky ‘matlabi’ neighbors who never HELP THEIR FRIENDS IN NEED….or will themselves expect you to tell them the answer but, when you are struggling, will reply in negative…

Exam starts, and so the ‘WASH UP’ / ‘WARMUP’ is done in the timing for the MCQs…Like me, there were many who used to wait for people around to finish INQUIRING the answers of MCQs from the reliable-better knowledgeable neighbors and finally write them all down in the last 5 minutes of the 30 minutes given….IT ALWAYS USED TO FEEL LIKE THE RAPID FIRE ROUND OF A GAY TALK SHOW…Karan and Shahrukh, nothing personal…

The feeling of jealousy is at its peak when you realize that the entire batch is copying from someone or the other and you are sitting, in your dreamy sleepy world looking at them with bubbles of expectations in your head…may be waiting for the animal in you to wake up and fill pages full of crap in the last 15 minutes…Looking at the unexpected result, sometimes its so much fun and taunting to realize that the person whom you copied the entire paper from scored less marks than you…can’t help but thank your stars…

Exams have fun moments too…We all smile when someone gets caught red handed, the news spreads like wild fire to the batch mates in the other rooms…..I remember one instance distinctly, it was the surgery exam and everyone was quietly writing pages full of answers considering we all had the books on our lap…A senior teacher, UG – PG both from LTMMC just peeped inside the room for a surprise visit and there was a loud thud with everyone closing their books suddenly and dropping them…Surprisingly, he just smiled, turned back and left without saying a word…We all smiled and had a sigh of relief too….But we didn’t worry, we all knew, surgery, ENT and forensic papers were never checked until now days….a reason for juniors to be more worried now.

Well, the ordeal for my batch and my seniors is over now…..I’m sure the juniors are not too far behind, may be they have devised better ways of copying by now…but looking back at those high tension days, the journey of every MBBS from being a geek who considered copying a sin in school to become a Master of copying has been memorable…and I'm glad I was part of it.

Now waiting patiently for the next opportunity, to show off our skills after years of practice…...till the day we will tell our children, “Nakal utarna, gandi baat”.

Na Na Na Na.....Goodbye !!

The following might not be the best deserving post to be on my blog but I wanted it here just because it was my honor (I'm scared too, I might lose the paper ) to be invited by the Department of Surgery as the undergraduate representative to give a speech on Dr.Gore's farewell and it meant a lot to me in my professional career. Also,it feels great to carry on with the mamagiri walking around the hospital and hear from many teachers and sisters whom you meet say unexpectedly," You spoke very well"...

The physiology hall was full right from the first bench to the last with around 30 others standing in the hall. I had not seen a bigger farewell than Dr.Gore's in the last 5 years. On the dais were eminent people like Dr.Oak (Director General, Medical education), Dr.Snehlata Deshmukh (Ex-Vice Chancellor, MumbaiUniversity), Dr.Kamath (Dean, LTMMC), Dr.Madhuri Gore and her husband, Dr.Anant Gore. Also present in the hall were Heads of almost all departments, retired teachers, honorary doctors, senior teachers and PG students (UG students are hardly interested in any such events except for the refreshments served afterward )…I have been on the stage a million times before but never did I feel the pride to be a part of the medical fraternity than I did on that day….I was not nervous at all…


And so I began –

Namaskar,
Respected Dr.Gore, all the dignitaries on the dais, teachers and my dear friends. It is my honor and my pleasure to be standing here in front of you to say a few words on the day of Dr.Gore’s farewell.

I want to begin on a lighter note…Since almost the whole of the surgery department is present here too, I will tell you all a small incidence. Once a surgery Reg goes to return some books borrowed from the library. The librarian quickly checks the book and says, “Sir, your books are always returned with the last page missing in every book…” The surgeon replies, “I can’t stop myself from removing an appendix wherever I see one, be it in person or in a book.”

Jokes apart, on a serious note, madam, as an undergraduate student because of your presence, we always felt safe….During the exams when students are trembling that Hi-Fi difficult questions would be thrown at them, you always started with the basics to give us that calming effect. Even in final year, when a student isn’t sure whether he/she will clear all 4 subjects or not, we knew that at least till you were there as the HOD, ‘Surgery practicals kaa koi tension nai hai’.

I as an intern was posted in Madam’s Unit for 45 days. On 1 night while taking a patient to Nair hospital for CT scan since ours wasn’t working, the old ambulance mama recollected the time when Gore madam was a houseman !! He said, nothing has changed till today. He remembered the days of joking around with her, having tea and helping her to get her work done faster so she could catch some sleep…He also added that even after becoming the Head of the Department of Surgery, Madam still recognizes him and doesn’t fail to ask, “Kasa ahach tu” gives them immense amount of pleasure.

Madam, we are thankful to you for everything that u have done for us. Words cant express the feelings always but emotions can…In the end, I just want to say…

The best you know, Is still to come
Its time for you, to have some fun
Travel around the world, do anything that you desired
All things are possible, now that you retired
A great retirement, for you is wished
By all of us, Madam you will be missed

Wish you all the very best for a new beginning…..Thank you.

"Docstar" Dreamer

Ever since in 2nd year when I started realizing that clinical medicine was not meant for me, I had been patiently waiting for my days at LTMMC to end. There was always the ‘something more’ that I kept looking for in life in these past 5 years which made me feel dissatisfied with the things happening around me. Added to that, most people in my batch could not accept the fact that I was different from them…..in my thought process….professional achievements…maturity, etc….for them it was attitude…for me it was just being me and it did not matter what they thought…the feeling of jealousy in their minds was there for me to see and I realized that most of them were only laughing behind my back and among them were ‘Friends’ who were not meant to be permanent.

In my 2nd year of MBBS when my dad underwent the CABG surgery, it was the most difficult time for me to cope with the pressure….My studies suffered, I lost all interest to be a doctor….I just wished somehow these days ended soon….It is a norm that people like to laugh on others to feel good themselves, not realizing what the other person is going through in this life…I hated many of my batch mates for that reason because I never wanted to be their ‘punching bag’. Yet, I continued on my SPIRITUAL AND PROFESSIONAL journey ALONE gathering all my strength to bear the remaining 3.5 years at Sion. Meanwhile, things did happen like the BAND, BMC, winning awards in various events organized By various departments, during college festivals, etc by which I tried to be chirpy, happy and come out of feeling low in college…Soon, I started to enjoy my loneliness….at least no one could hurt me…I became insensitive to people around…I was happy in my own world.

Finally after 4.5 years of entering this institute, on 9th Feb 2010, a day before my birthday, my results were out and I had passed MBBS ‘gracefully’….my happiness knew no bounds….that was the best birthday gift I could ask GOD for after all that I had gone through in the last 4.5 years.

Now, 6 months are over with internship and I can hardly wait for the remaining 6 to get over with soon too….to pursue my goals...to be among my definition of achievers…all-rounders…I spent 2 months preparing for the PG exam but there was always the call from within to follow my dreams...the way to which did not go through the ‘path of medicine’…and after 5 months of constantly fighting with my mind and heart, I decided to pursue an MBA now…This is the most crucial important INDEPENDENT decision of my life… because I know, if I click, everyone will be impressed that I had the courage to do something different…and if I don’t , those will be the people who will be laughing at me calling me an idiot to leave this lucrative, respectful, money minting noble profession to be a clinician…It doesn’t matter to me anymore…I know where I see myself in my professional career…

What makes me write this is because I’m so surprised by the way I feel now…last few days I have been feeling so nostalgic thinking that within 6 months from now, I will be out of the institute…the place where I would have spent glorious 5.5 years of life…I will miss this college, the hospital, the friends, the feel one gets to wear an apron and the stethoscope, the Band, the festivals and the celebration it had been all this while in LTMMC in spite of the constant bombardment of exams all throughout…after all it wasn’t so bad…But the fact remains that I want to continue on my journey…discovering what lies ahead…the surprises life will throw at me…But I’m satisfied with what I will take away from LTMMC…lots of fond memories and of course… the changed name …from Mohit to Dr.Mohit Garg….Forever.

Live - Love - Laugh

'Happiness is real only when shared' .... I have now realized happiness is within oneself and is just a state of one's mind. The face is the mirror of your heart and off lately I have been smiling a lot just because now I am so much at peace with myself. So here I am listing few words about things that I feel make many HAPPY too.

1. The first raindrops falling on your face.
2. Holding a new born baby.
3. Laughing with your best friends over crappy jokes.
4. Five minutes of extra sleep with the alarm on snooze.
5. Your first kiss.
6. Singing or dancing wildly while alone in you room / bathroom.
7. Appreciating the beauty of a full moon.
8. Eating a bar of chocolate before a major exam.
9. Standing in front of the vast ocean with arms outstretched to feel the breeze.
10. Boring lecture - corner row,last bench - a quiet sleep.
11. Your long time crush asking you for help.
12. Dim light in the room, just you and the acoustic guitar.
13. A hug from a friend when you feel low.
14. An open book exam.
15. Staring at the girl who doesn't mind your attention ;-)
16. Your graduation day / Your first salary in your hands.
17. Perfect weather, empty road, you and you bike/car.
18. Finding a Rs.100 note on the road.
19. A standing ovation when you are at the dais.
20. A patient comes back to you to say thank you.

And finally, the HAPPINESS AFTER A PRAYER when you really feel the need to be closer to GOD.

Thank you God, and thanks to life for everything :-) Its my time to shine now and I am raring to go...

All Izz Well...

The following is the jingle that got me the first prize in the ORS jingle making competition organised by the Indian Association of paediatrics on occasion of ORS week celebration’ 2010.

You all too can sing along to the tune of ‘ All Izz Well’ from the movie 3 idiots and you will have fun too…..so here it goes :

Jab Dast Ho out of control,
ORS ka packet khol,
ORS ka packet khol,
1 litre paani mein ghol,

All Izz Well...

Doctor hain jaane bache ka kya hoga,
Arre dast rukenge, bachu ke muh pe smile hoga,
Mummy naa maane itni jaldi fine hoga,

Toh ghol bana, pike dikha,
Pike dikha ke bol,

Mummy All Izz Well,
Arre Papa All Izz Well,
Arre Bhaiya All Izz Well,
Your bachu Izz well...

Sodium aur potassium ismein, glucose se bhi bhara yahi
Glucose mil hi gaya toh saala dast ka ata pata nahin,
Pet jo tera baar baar yeh ghabraye,
Pet pe rakhke haath usse tu phuslale,
ORS maine pii liya hai samjhade,

Toh ghol bana, pike dikha,
Pike dikha ke bol,

Mummy All Izz Well,
Arre Papa All Izz Well,
Arre Bhaiya All Izz Well,
Your bachu Izz well...

Rice water toh pii liya tha, dast toh phir bhi ruka nahin,
Pet toh saala khaali ho gaya, mummy ko yeh dikha nahin

Doctor hain jaane bache ka kya hoga,
Arre dast rukenge, bachu ke muh pe smile hoga,
Mummy naa mane itni jaldi fine hoga

Toh ghol bana, pike dikha,
Pike dikha ke bol

Mummy All Izz Well,
Arre Papa All Izz Well,
Arre Bhaiya All Izz Well,
Your bachu Izz well.

Euphoria

I had not been so optimistic for a while,
It feels so good to reconcile,
Looking forward now to how my future molds,
And to the sweet surprises, that destiny holds.

Waited so long for days like this,
Not looking back anymore on times I missed,
To be joyful within really takes so less,
I think I've found my key to happiness.

Though the road is long, I'm ready to walk,
In my sleep now, with the future I talk,
Just can't wait now, to stretch my wings,
And fly to my dreams, without the strings.

In this roller coaster life, with twists and bends,
I can only wish, this time doesn't end,
The days are gone when life was a mess,
I think I've found my key to happiness,
I think I've found my key to happiness...

Mera Paigam

A poem written for a community programme at Dharavi.

Aao milkar haath badhao,
Desh ko apne swasth banao,
Saath badao apne kadam,
Sang sabhi toh jitenge hum.

Bharat desh hamara pyara,
Badti jansankhya ka hai maara,
Jor dekar socho sabhi,
Aabadi kam karni hogi abhi.

Jyada aabadi par khane ko kum,
Ghut ghut kar jeene mein nahin hai dum,
Lachari aur garibi se janata maili,
Tabhi bimariyan yahan hai faili.

TB ne Bharat mein banaya hai ghar,
Khasane aur thukne se faila magar,
Aaj 30% janata hai iska shikar,
Safai rakhne se iska vikar.

BCG kii ek dawai,
Bachpan mein yadi sabhi ne lagwai,
TB ka prakop hoga kum,
Pragati ki rah pe honge hum.

Ann hai hum sabhi ko khana,
Pet mein bimariyon ko kyun saath lejaana,
Ulti dast kam honge tabhi,
Jab haath dhoke khayenge sabhi.

Bachon ko yadi paani pilana,
20 minute tak usse jaroor ubalna,
Ulti dast se bachenge abhi,
Banenge bhavishya Bharat ke tabhi.

Ek bimari Bad rahi aage,
Naam sunate sabhi door bhagen,
AIDS hai wah kahlati,
Nahin dekhti woh dharm aur jaati.

Tode hain issne bahut pariwar,
Jhel rahe hain bahut iski maar,
Condom pahanne se isse mukti hai,
Sochiye, AIDS aapki zindagi badal sakti hai.

Swaasth kaa paigam failana hai hum sabhi ka dharam,
Safai rakhke tum karo ache karm,
Yah paath yaad rakh ai Insaan,
Doctor ko mat bana bhagwan
Doctor ko mat bana bhagwan !!

"MR. Wait-er"

Since an intern has no work in the OPD apart from filling the forms, writing the history and sending the patient to a real doctor, I decided to observe a group of people who regularly visit us on all OPD days…They are usually seen in groups, anything between 5 to 25 and would be for sure the most patient of all people I can see in the hospital everyday…They are used to spending hours waiting in the OPD, usually talking crap about the doctor they will be meeting in a few hours and then greeting the same doctor with a smile and free gifts for being so kind to them…The waiting period is not so boring as they do check out the other beautiful gender of their same species sent as baits by pharmaceutical companies....Yes, you’ve guessed it right….This article is dedicated to our dear friends whom we don’t want to meet during OPD hours, unless they come with a nice gift apart from a 2 rupee pen in a 5 rupee box…. Their designations may be business executives, product detail men or territory sales executives, but in common parlance they are the heavy-medicine-bag-toting MRs (Medical representatives)….

The OPD notice board says NO MRs TILL 12:30 PM and yet they arrive before the patients do in the morning….Suddenly they enter our room, dodging the mama and place on our already full table a piece of advertisement paper, a free pen garnished with free samples, say something so quickly, I can hardly make out at times and leave in a hurry too…. Most of them are under-informed about their products, one question to them and they go blank like we do during our viva exams….In the OPD, the residents are also not so clean…hardly they make an eye contact with a male MR and just nod their heads while the MR recites his “rata hua rhyme”, to make an impression that they are listening….But due to acute shortage of good looking female doctors/Interns/students in Sion hospital, they cannot stop themselves from at least checking out and listening to a pretty female MR on hearing a sweet voice while writing the history...

It so happened that once while I was loitering towards the MICU, I heard someone call me from behind…I turned back to see a person, nicely dressed in a tie whom I had never seen in my life before..."Sir, I have something for you", he said as he opened his treasure vault….I peeped inside to see letter pads, small utensils, paper weights, etc…I said I want none…Yet he quickly took out a cheap pen…and said, “RABECIP and PAN….please prescribe….” I smiled to myself and left without entertaining him…Since then, I decided to keep a close watch on such funny kinds...

On the last OPD day of my medicine posting, the senior resident did not come…It was left to the housie and me to manage the entire 4 hours of the OPD…Last 2-3 patients when the housie too left I was left alone in the room….Suddenly I found myself surrounded by more than 20 MRs ready to pounce on me with their product catalogue as their claws…Main toh apni izzat bachake bhaag gaya….he he..

Its not that we as doctors don’t care about our dear friends(sarcasm)…When ever we need medicine for ourselves, we do ACT to be friendly while tracking the familiar face we might have seen in the OPD….Also, when ever the college needs sponsorship to hold CMEs, hardly it is possible without the MRs…During lunch too, someone is required to make sure the doctors are taken good care of and the MRs fit the job perfectly as waiters…They also give evidence of primitive smartness when after the ban by MCI on gifts costing more than Rs.1000 for doctors, they started getting stuff with MRP. of Rs.999 for senior doctors..lols

It has been only 2.5 months that I’ve been keeping an eye on them…Looking forward to new encounters with this specie Medical representatives in future and I hope THE FRIENDSHIP ONLY GROWS (pun intended)….After all who doesn’t like to be pampered with free gifts (a pen is a gift for an intern because even if you don’t have a stethoscope, one can be called an intern if he/she is wearing a dirty ink stained apron and has a PEN) for just being who you are…a doctor !!

Just Say No...

I happened to find a piece of paper on which was scribbled a small jingle which was written for a competition in college on 'DEADDICTION'. Does not actually meet up to my standards... but still, all my original work deserves a place on this blog....After all, it was a difficult topic to write on....

ON THE TUNE OF, "CHALTE CHALTE, MERE YEH GEET YAAD KAKHNA, KABHI ALVIDA NAA KEHNA - KISHORE KUMAR"...here it goes :-

Fukte Fukte, mere yeh words yaad rakhna,
Stay away from addiction,
Stay away from addiction.

Ro-oge, Hasoge, nashe mein tum,
Phir sabse kehna,
Kabhi drugs mat tum lena,
Kabhi drugs mat tum lena...

Kahta hun doston, Nasha karte hain kabhi agar,
Lat padjayegi tumhe, Jeevan hoga khatam,
Family ke sapnon ko tum, yun marne mat dena...

Stay away from addiction,
Stay away from addiction.

Cigarette drugs lete lete, depression ho jaye tumhe kabhi,
Anonymus group join karke, will power ki takat dekhna tabhi
Zindagi ko phir tum, yuhin sajake rahkna...

Kabhi drugs mat tum lena,
Kabhi drugs mat tum lena...

My Puzzlement

Looking back at the last 4.5 years at LTMMC,I still can’t believe that it’s finally over. The memory of the first day in med school is still very fresh in my mind as if it was yesterday. The journey to become a doctor after going through innumerable hours of frustrating pressure of studying throughout,exams,exams and more exams, has finally come to an end….I have GRACEFULLY managed to pass MBBS now. What was more thrilling for me was that the result came a day before my birthday…double celebration time for me….it’s a feeling that can’t be described in words….it took me 3 days of staring at the print out of my mark sheet for the feeling to finally sink in….I shall now remain Dr.Mohit Garg till I cease to exist.

But the big question for me still remains…It has become increasingly difficult for me to decide my next and the most crucial step in life….There are clashes within, when the things that you want to do and the things that you should do don’t go hand in hand….The same is the case with me now….

As of now, there are no compulsions with me so as to what I should do next…my parents have been supportive enough to let me do what I want….But I can’t decide on whether to continue walking this LONG path of medical field or opt for an MBA or non clinical fields now…No doubt that this is a noble profession, money flows in at a later stage of life, there is social security and respect, doctor are considered as Gods, etc,etc …But at what cost ???

People who come to medicine are the most studious of all….Since school days,they start running the rat race to come among the rank holders in school year after year….they miss out on their childhood,time playing with friends,spending time with family…and basically the beauty that life offers us…That was about childhood…studying, studying, more studies they manage to get admission in top medical colleges….complete MBBS with internship at 23-24 years of age and again get back to studies for post graduate to become a MD/MS at 28-29…immediately people want to settle down in life, get married ,start a family before one gets too old to even be able to play cricket with their own kid, and many continue for super specialization courses….In short BACHELORHOOD IS ALSO GONE BEFORE THEY REALISE IT….and then they start life earning what many of my engineering friends started at 22….with gradual progress, doctors have a fairytale life after that….

But what they forget while working to have their secure future and a happy life, be able to enjoy all the materialistic things that money can buy , cars, gadgets, etc…is that their PARENTS HAVE BECOME OLD, they missed out on time with family and old friends…and the beauty of life that I spoke about earlier…as it is life expectancy has become short these days due to the increasing incidence of obesity, diabetes, hypertension among general population….and more than half of it is spent studying by we doctors….

MBBS plus an MBA from a premier institute is a very rare combination and very much in demand these days by pharmaceutical companies and corporate hospitals…One starts with a very good package at an early stage of the career, you get time to do things that you like to do, involve yourself in a bit of extracurricular activities, not become antisocial and arrogant that many doctors get with their success, etc….I agree that you would no longer be the God that people make you…but you get to travel (not for conferences only), meet people you would not like to see just as patients…. at least a good life for an ambitious, hard working and adventurous guy like me who loves to live life to the fullest…feeling happy even for the smallest of things that life gifts me.

But here I am, writing this at 2:30 am … all confused…sitting and watching, as the medical student world, my friends included gear up for PG CET 2010…with just one hope that may be I would fall in love with clinical and practical aspect of becoming a doctor during internship which starts after 2 days when I actually see patients as patients and not as a dummy for passing the exams like everyone do…till then, trying to get back in shape to lose all the extra pounds gained which comes free with the sedentary life of a medical undergraduate, save the hair which are left on my scalp from deserting me and more importantly have a happy, cool and calm attitude towards life…enjoying its sweet music…away from the hyper, frustrated side of me that I saw in the last 5.5 years….it really surprised me.

I just hope I find my answer soon….

Go Goa !

It was an absolutely amazing trip to Goa…totally unplanned, unexpected…Got a call from Chetan for normal friend’s talk when he asked me if we could go to Goa next evening and without thinking, I immediately said yes…. Sagar too was joining us…Got the Volvo tickets, hotel booked the next morning and off we were for a 3 days adventure.

The first shocker came when we realized that we had been conned by the travel agent...It wasn’t a Volvo, and it had people sleeping over our heads in the semi sleeper which caught us unawares….The hotel was great though, only 5 minutes from Calangute beach.. We hired scooters and instead of traveling the conventional roads, we rode through the deep villages to get glimpse of the most beautiful beaches in Goa…and the bikini clad ‘Firangi’ babes of course….

An event I will cherish for the rest of my life, is when all our 3 bike keys got lost from Chetan’s shorts while swimming in the sea….all our clothes, mobiles and cameras were in the scooter under the seats...we stranded about 10 kms from our hotel…and Sagar travelled all that distance in a towel asking for free lifts to reach the owner for duplicate keys…hats off to you bro, I couldn’t have done that…While waiting for him, we had a great time making friends with a few local boys…they ‘enlightened’ me as for the first time I came to know that both ‘Acid’ and ‘Score’ meant hashish and marijuana, etc in Goa and not what the chemistry books or what American Pie movies taught me respectively…

In those 3 days, we rode about 250 kms in Goa….a perfect trip riding with friends…I now realize that its so boring to visit a place like Goa with family where you cannot turn around to get a second look of the beautiful women who catch your eyes every now and then….he he…Loved the para sailing, cruising on the bullet, the motor boat ride, etc. It was a trip I’ll always remember…

It has been 6 years now that I started to be a part of this journey to be a doctor while preparing for the CET exam…Going through the tormenting, boring 4.5 years studies in medicine, I didn’t realize how ‘LIFE’ just went by…unlike my engineering counterpart friends who study only a month before exams, we doctors slog round the years….I could do nothing about turning into a boring geek sort of a guy away from this fun filled adventurous life that I actually love so much… I have been places in these 6 years with family but nothing comes close to these awesome 3 days I had in Goa…

Not planning to touch my books anytime soon…I am fed up of running in this rat race for a very long time since school days, it doesn’t get you anywhere….I want to reclaim my LIVELY LIFE now...like the days i just spent...

Suicide - The Menace

Though I welcomed the new year on a happy note, away from all the worry of the tormenting MBBS studies by watching ‘3 Idiots’, I knew my brother wasn’t having the best day as one of his dentist friend's body was being flown back to India on new year after he died in a tragic car accident in the US….Back home, I watched news of an air hostess commit suicide by jumping from the 12th floor of a cruise ship…. A sad new year gift both families received !!

But over the last 4 days, there have been incidents which bother me….the ragging episode at KEM, all thanks to ‘3 idiots’ which got 18 other idiots with no hostel room and headlines in the news, an engineering college girl committing suicide for failing in her exams, an 11 year old girl kills herself as her dance classes were discontinued, a 12 year old boy commits suicide in his school toilet yesterday…

What the hell is happening to people? Why has life suddenly become so cheap…why is it that people foolishly, impulsively decide to end their lives…I have no answers…all I can say is they are cowards who leave their family mourning looking at the lifeless bodies…

A few facts straight from my psychiatry book…
- A person commits suicide every 6 minutes in India.
- Method: Organophosphate poisoning > hanging > throwing oneself in front of a train
- Incidence: Males > females , age group 18-30 years

Who is to be blamed? The rat race among all students to come 1st, the ‘andha kanoon’-Indian judiciary, the Indian politics which is just another joke, the parents, the police or may be its us..We are unable to value this gift of life. It is sad to see such things happen day to day in India..The congress tag line says ' India shinning’…but I guess India is just going deeper into a black hole and there is no hope…The politicians including the Prime Minister, the puppet President should all come out of their air conditioned homes and dark tinted bullet proof cars to have a look at what life people are living and problems they are facing to stop this menace of the increasing number of suicides in India..

I wrote this because I am deeply disturbed by such news of people including children acting GOD….they have no right to take away the happiness of their loved ones…it’s the worst thing in life for a parent to give a ‘ kandha to the arthi’ of their own child….when will people understand? May be NEVER…. :-(

Bad policies that are the real cause of brain draining of medicos.

Respected judges, teachers and my dear friends, I am Mohit Garg present before you to show my strong feelings that its bad policies that are the real cause of brain draining of medicos.

Policy 1 – Headlines from the Times of India: Rural stint for medicos compulsory. Another new policy which the old men sitting in parliament had decided for us. Serving 1 year in a village after spending 5.5 years graduating and another 1 year after post graduation at a salary which a clerk can manage today….Sounds stupid, right? By the time we are 29-30 and start life, we see our colleagues in other fields enjoying life, having all luxuries they require.

Policy 2- Reservation: India is the only country on earth where there is more than 50% reservation. It is extremely difficult to be from an open category, slog it out and still not get a stream of your choice, whereas a person having a certificate stating they were ONCE BACKWORD move a mile ahead of you in life and at a faster rate. I see no reason why brain draining of medicos should not happen.

Policy 3- Slogging 24x7: I don’t think I need to explain this policy. I make this question open to all of you. Would one choose to work 5 days like a donkey and 2 days like a king or to spend all 7 days like a donkey with no rest, not enjoying what we are doing, our aptitude to work. Do you think this ‘chalta hai’ attitude can get us any far?

Policy 4- No evaluation system: In India, your place in the establishment is not verified from time to time. Eg. The time taken to a medico from a lecturer to associate professor to the HOD is fixed at 10-15 years. It is not based on one’s capabilities or their contribution to the department.

Policy 5- Amending Constitution, its child’s play: Unlike other countries, it is easy to make amendments in the constitution. The volatility of the government decides the direction of our life. Joining medicine is like a sword to the neck, we don’t know which way it will sway with the change in government.

Policy 6- Smother the medicos of the future: I suppose when all doctors decide to go abroad, the government will surely come up with a bond of Rs. 25-50 lakhs.

In the end, I suggest you book your tickets now, don’t know if the government will come up with a new policy tomorrow.

Signing Off.

Its been a great year of blogging....I personally did enjoy writing every article till date...the last exams for completing M.B.B.S coming up in about 20 days...So signing off from all active blogging, internet, television, newspaper, guitar, etc.....

Next post in Jan, 2010 (hopefully).....Love.....Mohit :-)

Rosy dreams in hell...

A FEW RANDOM WORDS FROM MY FRUSTRATED, SATURATED BRAIN, DUE TO THE PRESSURE OF THE LAST MBBS EXAMS...

I came here with my rosy dreams
In my mind I had the wonderland themes
The scene would be great I always thought
To act God when life and death fought…

But now, I’ve realized that

Being a doctor is so very tough
Struggling to pass makes the journey all rough
Frustrated you get, psycho you act
Also final year makes you so very fat…

You feel pushed back, as the world walks past
And I’m counting days as it ends at last..

...45 days to go for the last battle with MUHS university in MBBS….hope I get freedom from my tormentors soon..the exams....forever

Oh yes, a few words for a handful of people in college too....whom I can never forgive….
There was a time when I was sad
It was due to the bad time that I had
Depressed I was, you people thought
You laughed over me, abused me, as I fought…

Yeah, looking back on time, it was a long pause
But now I’m back, to the person I was
My confidence is back, my head held high
The change is prominent, you people ask why…

“You guys suck”, I want to tell them
Have you had a life anytime, when?
It is my time now, taste the bitter ginger
Critics, I show you my middle finger….F#@K off !!!

A Biography

It was an honor to be asked to write the biography for a senior teacher of mine to be read at her family get together. That you mam for letting me into your world, you really are a source of inspiration for me.

On this auspicious day when Ganpati Bappa has blessed us all and left to come back again next year, I feel lucky to be spending this time with my dear ones, my family, children, the people who matter to me the most in my life, “my world”…. and so today, I want to share with you all some thoughts from the pages of my life.

Last few days, I have been feeling emotional, nostalgic and I thought for a long time to share with you all, the thoughts, the hurt, the anger that lay hidden in the deepest corners of my heart. “Zindagi sab ko sab kuch nahin deti, Par sab ko kuch kuch zaroor deti hai ”

I was born and brought up in a very middle class family…enjoying myself…satisfied...happy being the eldest among 4 brothers and sisters…. Like a good daughter, I did everything for my siblings…. loved them...played with them, guided them…gave them all the love that they should have got from their eldest sister.

Time went by, we all started to grow up…school…studies…I was always the hardworking person…I wanted to be the best…I worked hard to be the perfect daughter…set an example for my siblings…so, surprisingly, all my hard work paid off and I stood 16^th in the state merit list in my 10^th std…that was the first time I actually saw “Khushi ke aasun” in my parents eyes…we all were so happy with my achievement…I continued to work hard because I was always ambitious, understood my responsibilities…and by God’s grace, I had the option to go for medicine or engineering both after 12^th…I chose medicine because my father wanted me to be a doctor and I was interested too…So I had no regrets about what life offered me till then…I was happy because my family was happy.

The feeling to push myself to the limit…work hard made me work even harder during my MBBS days and with my hard work, I stood 3^rd in Mumbai University too. My family was over the moon and I felt the sense of pride too…my efforts had paid off…I had every specialty branch available…medicine / surgery/ gynacology, obstetrics but I chose paediatrics by choice… I was the eldest sister naa…I loved my brothers and sisters like kids only…I kept going on, working hard to support my family...my brothers education because we knew we had to help ourselves with whatever resources we had…I educated my brother so he could support my youngest sister…look now…she has grown up to be a dentist…I’m so proud of you too…Till these years, everything was a perfect story, but the family needs were increasing, I could feel the pressure, the responsibility…and I continued my journey working as hard as I could…I then stood 6^th in the DM entrance exam…I was getting gastroenterology which I always wanted but at the same time, I was getting a job in railways as a Class I gadded medical officer…This was the first major sacrifice in my life…I left the DM seat to help my family because they needed me at that time… I knew tough time lay ahead.

As time went by, I felt that it was time I should get married and settle down in life…I should have my own house, family, kids… So I had an arranged marriage with Dr. Joag…a very down to earth person from an average middle class family like ours…Together, we started of with our married journey…arranging funds for the house…taking a loan…running a pathology lab in Nalasopara… A normal middle class hard life story…but the shocker came when 6 months after marriage, I was diagnosed with a brain tumour…though it was a benign one, it left us devastated…Meanwhile, we also went through the problem of infertility…I underwent treatment, got pregnant…but we came to know that it was a quadruplet pregnancy…we both accepted it…But after 4.5 months, all 4 had an IUD….It shook our world and I started to understand that life doesn’t give you everything what you want…no matter how good a person you are…I began to value life more…wanted to make more out of it...Till the 3^rd decade of my lifetime, I was satisfied in spite of what  I went through, hardships, sacrifices...it was fine.

But then, life took a 180 degree turn…my world turned upside down…I lost the elder of my 2 brothers at a young age of 26 due to SJ syndrome...I was broken…Then in 1996, I lost Dr. Joag in a car accident…I was left alone…shattered…I couldn’t understand what was happening in my life…was it really happening with me, I asked God? Why? …I didn’t get my answers…all my dreams were shattered in front of my own eyes like a pack of cards and I couldn’t do anything…But that women instinct to embrace motherhood kept asking me to move on in life...however hard it was and so meanwhile, I adopted my niece…Then I met my current husband Mr. Jhadhav who had lost his wife too and had 4 children…We met and he asked me if I was ready to accept his 4 children along with him…I didn’t know what to do…Then I thought , may be God wanted me to move on too and he had given me back my 4 unborn children whom I had lost….with a family…another chance at life and here I am with you all…I was happy again…forgetting my past…accepting it as destiny, life went on happily…But my world broke apart again when I lost both. My mother and father in a span of 1 year...I was angry with life...It was too unkind I felt…I was helpless but I had you all with me as my support and I love you all for that…

After going through all this struggle, hardships, sacrifices….I have seen a lot of life…how difficult it is…it teaches you everything…you get something and you lose something….that there is a price for everything…I have done everything in my capacity to balance between my career and family…Life has taught me a lot and I have come a long way…and it would have not been possible to go through the wonderful learning experience without all your support and love, of course…From the bottom of my heart, I want to thank you for being there for being there for me…I love you all a lot…and so my journey continues with 1 thought… “ We never have what we like, we never like what we have, still we live, love and hope that some day, we will get what we love or love what we want !! That’s my life ”

Thank you

Schizophrenic You?

My frustration has crossed its limits after so much time of remaining away from CREATIVITY while preparing for my prelim exams coming up in about 20 days…so thought of coming out of my blogging hibernating shell to write a few words.

A thing that I keep wondering time and again and have tried to find an answer to is, “Are we all schizophrenic, are we all having a split personality, being 2 minds in 1 body? ”… Over my experience of 22 years with the little psychological and spiritual knowledge that I have, I think the answer to that is in the affirmative….not all of you might agree to it…but nevertheless.

We all have both, the Devil and the God within us. On a rough day with nothing going our way, after a fight or an argument with a friend or a family member, after scoring not so good marks, etc…..the frustration that builds up, brings out the devil in you. He is the one who makes you unhappy, feel alone, lonely and tells you how sad a person you are. That is the time you feel the need of “ a someone” to talk to, to shout at, to get your frustration out…then you try to look back in time ….happier times….sad times…time spent…life lived …which makes you sulk even more. The only good thing I think about the devils expression within you is that it makes the person more artistic to express himself… with aggression…with sorrow…mixed feelings… For a writer, it reflects in his words…. for a painter, in his colors and so on.

On the other hand, the God within makes you a confident cool dude…be a charming person, people enjoy your company at the time you are smiling, making others smile…you are vibrant with positive energy. After all, who wants to be a company to a broken, sad, lost out soul? The God within makes you feel good about yourself, be at peace with the world around, the work you do in the day, enjoy the daily routine…spend the day without a fuss, any argument …and in the end, gift you a night, well slept.

I am writing this because I’ve been going through a lot of mood swings these days…Long hours of studies, lack of recreational activities makes me think life is so boring, mundane…and to add to that, my increasing weight and puffy face sitting at home, my sinking eyes having to study all day and my increasing baldness make me more frustrated at times making me want to run away from this field of medicine…so I look towards extra-curricular activities like blogging, guitar ,photography ,etc and end up wasting a lot of time….after all, everyone deserves a break for themselves which is very difficult to manage in the life of a final year medical undergraduate. There is so much I want to do in this life “which begins so late but ends so quickly”….For some reason, I am in a hurry to begin life early...spend time driving, riding, playing tennis with my best friend Aniruddha, making music with band ignition, writing, gymming, photography, painting, dancing…it’s a long list.

But the next moment I realize that if I stop looking for happiness in such extra-curricular activities and study a bit more, may be I can save 1 extra life!!...after all I’ve worked so hard to be where I am today.

I am desperately looking for the solution to such oscillating thoughts in my pendulum brain… God, please help me find“ The Middle Path” – Be ENLIGHTENED.

Prize winning Jingle' 09

This was my jingle that got me the second prize in the INDIAN ASSOCIATION OF PAEDIATRICS jingle making competition on ORS (oral rehydration solution) –OFFERS THE REAL SOLUTION.

Bache ko ulti hai, dast bhi hain
Body mein paani kam hai
Sukhi hai, aakhen bhi
Bacchu bhi bahut nam hai

Toh ORS ghar mein laao
Ek litre paani mein milao
Bache ko tum pilao
Improvement dekhte jaao

Kyunki, Body mein jab ho Sodium,potassium ki kami
ORS har jagah milta,sabke liye sahi

Toh ORS ghar mein laao
Ek litre paani mein milao
Bache ko tum pilao
Improvement dekhte jaao

Bharosa hai doctoron ko bahut ispe
Kitni jaane hain isne bachai
Ulti dast se nipatne ki hai yeh
Sabse sahi davai

Sarkari asptaal mein aao
Apne bacche ko dikhlao
Sahi ilaj phir tum paao
Aur muft mein ORS le jaao

Kyunki, Body mein jab ho Sodium,potassium ki kami
ORS har jagah milta,sabke liye sahi

Toh ORS ghar mein laao
Ek litre paani mein milao
Bache ko tum pilao
Improvement dekhte jaao
Improvement dekhte jaao
Improvement dekhte jaao……

Last Post ?

Hi Friends …..It all started as a coincidence that I found 3 poems written way back in 2002 with which I started this blog…Gradually, over the last two years, it developed as a hobby and it became a part of my life …I told you guys that I would come up with something good by the end of this month, but I’m sorry to say, that it won’t happen….this seems to be my last post for this year…Suddenly it has hit me that I have only 2 months remaining for my prelim exams and I have the entire final year portion to finish. I am sure that like me, many of you too feel that there are two paths that life shows you…one is the path that you really want to walk and the other is the one you should walk….till now, I walked the path that I wanted to but I realized that it keeps me away from the commitment that is required in the profession of a doctor…I think that my temporarily stopping to blog (which I consider very close to my heart) might just help me become a better doctor…Look at the photo above, can you guess whether it’s a sun rise or a sunset? People, wait until January because in the new year the sun will rise again on my blog, till then, its time for sunshine to light my road to be a good doctor.. Signing off….Love…..mohit....

My Bad

Hey readers, really very sorry…..thanks for complaining that off lately my blog has become more and more personal….the usual flavors about various aspects is long missing….my posts reflect too much only about my life and the way I feel… It may be just because I was trying to push myself for the final 7 months of turmoil remaining to finish with my basic M.B.B.S course….. I may have become monotonous lately coz I’ve not been watching television, or reading newspapers for a long time now(the secret of my inspiration to write), no time for it actually… Exams coming up…will surely keep myself updated about current events after that..…and will not write about LIFE for a long time now ….. So wait on people till around 29th of this month, when my written exams end…will surely come up with something you’ll all love….catch you all later ….. Wish me luck…

Missing Pieces of Life's Puzzle.

12 days to go for my mid term exams…..I am studying, but with a shallow heart…I feel a sense of emptiness in life, a sense of missing something…..just now I got a message from my teacher & my friend Dr. Prayag (who I know one day will be one of the best cardiologists in India, I know ,he will) which said, “I want to go back to the time when getting high meant on a swing…when drinking meant apple juice…when dad was the only hero…when love was mum's hug…when dad’s shoulder was the highest place on earth…when the only thing that could hurt were wounded knees…when the only things broken were toys…when goodbye meant only till tomorrow…now we realize life has changed so much.” …..tears trickled down my eyes….this is what I was feeling…. I found the answer to my emptiness…this is what I’ve missed.

Today, my grandfather fights for his life everyday with congestive cardiac failure with LVEF of 20 % post two myocardial infarctions, bilateral renal artery stenosis , chronic renal failure, hypertention, diabetes…. Still after his angioplasty I am here 1400 km away….on the road to be a doctor…helpless…my tears don’t stop…I tell my family there to be strong…..but deep down I’m scared of the reality…the sun sets in everyone’s life one day.16 years that I’ve been in Mumbai, I don't even remember spending 100 days with him, yet I remember every moment spent with him…..today when I should have been by his side, the tough path of medicine that I chose is not so flexible to give me too much time…a medical undergraduate’s life is demanding.

A person doesn’t feel so bad when he does not have something in life but it feels worst when he has something and it goes away…this is what happened to me….I am not looking to sympathy…but it did not stop me…it only gave me strength, more courage to fight life…I realized that this is what life is and this is how it is meant to be…a fight to the finish….I studied hard all these years in spite of all the hassles in life ….to be on the road to fulfill a dream that I saw since school ….but feeling sorry for what all this hard work and my tough times have taken away from my life…..my childhood, the time I should have spent with my family, playing without worry, a sense of everything being perfect, a feeling of a father telling his son, “ Don’t worry, I’m there”….I didn’t get it….my parents, my brother were going through the turmoil too....I kept working harder with a smile on my face, burying the tears… I wore a false mask…but continued the journey ….walking the path only in hope of good time in the future….

6th February'2007, my dad got a heart attack…10th February midnight ,I remember standing outside the ICU receiving calls for my birthday as I cursed God for the Birthday gift that he had sent me….my world had broken apart, all dreams shattered…Over the period that followed, I had broken down to the core …depressed….. Next two years, I was no longer interested in my studies….I couldn’t take it any longer…the real Mohit had slowly been smothered by life….but today, with things looking better and thanks to few of the God sent angels in my life (they know that), I feel like getting back to what I was…to be the real me….the kind of person I am from mind, body, heart and soul…..

But the feeling of the missing pieces in my life’s puzzle will always remain because I know that time is gone, never to come back again…..leaving memories…forever…I wish I could go back in time to relive those lovely moments that have become history....I wish I could :(

My False Mask

Sick of hiding behind my false mask
Where will life take me is all that I ask
Thinking and crying that I’ve been outplayed
Time to rectify too many mistakes that I made.

It took me so long to find the leading light
My dark side laughs over my sorry plight
Confused and shattered my heart is in pain
Time to pick the pieces and start all over again.

31.05.09

Repenting

I took it so lightly
Walked through it blindly
Not realizing what it meant
Crying now only to repent

Why did I act like a fool
Forgetting my dream since school
Running behind applause and fame
Were the hardships I faced,to blame?

Too expressive was then the child in me
Away from reality why did I be?
I shall toil now with determination and fire
I pray, I conquer my deepest desire.

-TO BE AN EMERGENCY PHYSICIAN ONE DAY.

Mind Freak

I’m a mind freak doing what I like
I’m a mind freak cruising on my bike
I’m a mind freak flying like a bird
I’m a mind freak unplugged from the world

Don’t tell me I’m different, I know that’s a fact
Had been always like this & weird I don’t act
The hidden stranger in me is what I want to find
You can too open the doors to your closed mind

I’m waiting, don’t know when our company ends
Feel so happy that we’re not the best of friends
Why you say, I’ve changed over the last few days
It’s just that I’ve stopped living my life your ways

I’m a mind freak doing what I like
I’m a mind freak cruising on my bike
I’m a mind freak flying like a bird
I’m a mind freak unplugged from the world

Free Spirit Unleashed

This article….no its not an article…its my current frame of mind and I didn’t want to miss writing about it because I know it is what will keep the fire burning within me…..off lately, I’ve been feeling great…..in fact on a high every moment of my life….These days I just feel that the free spirit that I claim to be (many don’t like it …but I don’t f*****g care about it) has been unleashed…..I feel stronger more than ever and really want to take life by its horns….may be it’s the hangover of living life everyday while I go to college on my cruiser bike…my love…. whom I call ‘Mercedes’..or post Band performance at the college festival….we did really rock.

I just feel that these days, I’m letting my soul show on my personality…this is who I was always and I am……care free….living every moment…leading a life where there are no rules…following what I preach, “APNA KAAM BANATA, BHAAD MEIN JAAYE JANTAA”…..doing what I feel like….not suppressing any of my deep desires of writing ,music ,driving ,riding ,playing ,photography ,etc … loving to be hated by some geeks…Later laughing over them, it hardly matters to me…being the bad guy…..MISCONCEPTION FOR MANY ?? …..LOOKS CAN BE DECEPTIVE…..may be that is what life means to me and I want to live it this way……WITHOUT CARING FOR THE WORLD AND THE INNOCENT ANGELS THAT LIVE IN IT…..WELCOME TO MY WORLD.

Today,I make life a promise, that I will always give it a tough fight…no matter however hard it tries to pull me down, I will never give up…..tough times don’t last, tough men do…..I have now put my past of sufferings, hardships behind and begun all over again with new aggression and a fire within my self. May be those lessons were ways of God to give me the best education possible with only one teacher….LIFE….from whom I’ve learned EVERYTHING till now….
I want to fulfill many dreams for my family and myself which remain unfulfilled for a long time….I have been lucky enough to have found the best pillars of support that I could…..My family , my teachers who keep reminding me of the potential that still remains to be tapped and very few friends (I choose to keep the list of friends very short…14-15 to be precise)……today I aspire to see myself as a cardiac surgeon or a cardiologist one day, have a house at Bandra seaside with a black Mercedes Benz parked in the garage…a big house with a music room ,gym ,temple ,billiards ,tt….and what not….Waiting for all of them to be fulfilled one day….I know I will….

I wish god could be a visitor on my blog because I want to say him a big THANK YOU …..for not giving me many things…..and giving me everything, everyone that I wanted in my world…TO BE HAPPY…..NO MATTER WHAT……

Continuing walking the road alone with memories and humming MY SONG….YOUR SHADOWS ALONE FOLLOW YOU…..

Recipe of a Soap

Firstly, for all science students, I have not discovered a new method to mix sodium ,potassium or calcium with a fatty acid to make a SOAP…..Until a few years from now, I only knew the word Serials for daily Nautanki…but the media now seems to have popularized the words DAILY SOAPS for serials. So this article is dedicated in memory of the great SOAPS that have come and gone and many which are still being aired & continue to haunt me in my dreams!

Basic ingredients to make a soap :
1)A producer with lots of extra money and guts in his ass to risk them for JUST ANOTHER TV RAMLILA.

2)One nursery ABCD alphabet book and a numerologist- to give the soap a name and a date & time to begin shooting.

3)One big SUPER RICH JOINT FAMILY, as big as you can imagine with husband, wife, brothers, sisters, mama, mami, chacha, chachi, tayaa, taayi…..every damn relation in a family that you can think of….all living together….and many more visitors ,from everywhere.

4)One female protagonist who is EKDUM PERFECT BAHU- always talks and thinks like an experienced DAADI AMMA, looks sexy in a sari….takes care of everyone and a stupid lady who prays to God for everything in her life. And God too only listen to her prayers in the family….as if he doesn’t have any more disciples.

5)One female villain (male villains are in films, at home entertainment level, we have female villains)….wicked by nature….odd sense of dressing up…big ugly bindis….does not like a peaceful house and is always planning to usurp the family property.

6)One grand grandmother played by a not so young actor…mostly bed ridden or on the wheel chair, loves the female protagonist a lot, can’t do much to save her from the acts of wickedness by the villain.

7)One tip top Naukarani, loaded with artificial jewellery and make up. Acts as a Special advisor to the villain.

8)Two- three kids to waste time showing their fights or artificial play…..as if we find them funny.

9)A sad lyricist for those sad songs and an equally sad singer….to bark on music.

10)And how can we forget the makeup man…to give them the perfect look with lipstick and mascara even if they go for a condolence meeting.

11)Other side actors to play police officers, plastic surgeons and lawyers who are required occasionally.

Method of preparation : Mix all these ingredients in whatever proportion you like, keep varying their amount from episode to episode…….show them celebrating all festivals that appears in an yearly calendar……occasionally kill a character in an accident, never show the dead body, to have him back after a few episodes with short term amnesia, or plastic surgeons working hard to give him a look which is impossible to do by we doctors…….let all this cook for a long long time and when you think its burning, TRPs falling and channel harassing the producer to be pulled out due to the people getting bored….one just needs to take 10-20 years time leaps…..till new dadiammas are trained in that house…generations after generations..finally the SOAP is ready to serve.

Garnish with long adds and serve to stupid audience who torture their kids with such nonsense running continuously at prime time……
You too can prepare your own SOAP STORY with my guidelines.

Any budding story writers reading this??

Be yourself...Always !

(NOTE-An old article which I found scribbled in one of my old diaries,so thought of putting it up.Its not my current frame of mind, I've come over it...long time.)

This article will not make sense to all, it is meant only for those who identify with it….

How many times have people tried to influence you, to tell you how difficult you are, what mistakes you make, you shouldn’t have done something, you got a big mouth, you live in a world of your dreams away from reality, you are this….and that.
Do you think you should even listen to such crap or does it even matter to you?

Not to me at least and many of you ,I know, who would after reading this may just even rethink…may be this is what you wanted.

Each and everyone of us come from a different culture, different background, different lifestyles, different past and each one of us is unique to ourselves……Each one of us is not a person but an entire World in ourselves…. I don’t think it is wrong to be in one’s own world if it makes life worth living…..I JUST BELIEVE THAT PEOPLE ARE UNHAPPY THAT YOU ARE HAPPY IN YOUR WORLD….Live life the way you want, do what you feel is right, enjoy every moment even if you are alone, but not lonely…most importantly BE YOURSELF, ALWAYS !

UFF, YEH FINAL YEAR

Final Year ab aa gaya hai
Padhai kaa maahol chaa gaya hai
Main bhi kar raha hoon lay ki khooj
Isliye pahunch jaata hoon jaldi library roj.

Harrison,Baily padne ko kahten hain sabhi
Manipal,Mathews par atkaa hoon abhi
Inn ke prakop se log kya bach payenge
Baag mein sabhi apni aukaat par aa jayenge.

Aajkal toh ghar kaa khana bhi nahin khataa hoon
Din bhar main college mein hee paaya jaata hoon
Phir bhi vajan bad raha hai mera,Shayad BMR kam ho chalaa
Tabhi toh soochu kaise ho gaya 75 se main 90 bhalaa.

Posting ,clinics se main pak gayaa hoon
Train kii bhid se thak gayaa hoon
Life mein mazeee ki badi kami hai
Saala apni toh koi girlfriend bhi nahi bani hai.

Na jaane kab hoga yeh final year khatam
Kab banenge hum bhi MAMA INTERN
Tabh patient bhi humse khush rahenge
Jab humbhi khud ko Doctor kahenge
Jab humbhi khud ko Doctor kahenge

Hide N' Seek

Life and Death play a game of hide and seek….while death is counting in the heavens, life finds a place to hide IN A FAMILY..…..only to be caught by death one day.

Being at the hospital everyday, I get numb many a times to see people die ..relatives thinking that the doctors are heartless when they declare a person dead….but that’s the way life is…with such a thought I draw this analogy.

When I light the ‘JYOT’ in the ‘diya’ everyday to pray, I see life being born (neonate).It slowly fights to light up throwing some tantrums until it becomes steady (infant to childhood).Soon the flame starts to rise, become bigger, glows brighter to reach it full height, cover up the entire cotton ball (adulthood)…and slowly gets blown out, with a smoke……in which I see Death.

Sound Of Appreciation

Another year when Band IGNITION rocked the crowd at ASHWAMEDH ’09 and proved to be better than the Marathi night or the celebrity night with the Band of Boys….As I looked at the videos again, if feels so very good to see the crowd dance to our tunes…Personally for me ,it feels great to hear one’s own words being sung (I might sound to be self obsessed)…but a still greater feeling when we were appreciated for our hard work….someone comes up to ask for the videos, lyrics, etc…The best complement that we got was one from our college watchman, a person who would not have understood more than 15 min of our 1 hour rock packed performance come and say, “khoob changla kela hoto tumhi”.

I really believe there is no better feeling than being applauded….that is truly what I yearn for in my life. Be it studying, writing, music, drawing, photography, debating,…everything that I can think of…Who doesn’t want recognition? I believe that one should not grow linearly in only a particular field (eg. medicine) but in all directions…Why not tap your talents and potentials now than to regret later when the time is all gone?...It might come at a cost now but the sweet music of applause will cover it all up.

Enlightened

SONG VERSION:

I’m enlightened, to the core
Life’s a gift, I ask no more
Root cause of life on fire
Lies in having a burning desire

Life ain’t no race, there’s so many hints,
I know, God will, show the way,
I see myself, at the starting line,
This journey looks so fine…

Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I’m gonna shine tonight
Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I wanna feel alive

When sorrows, lie within,
Lights chosen, to be so dim,
In one corner, of your home,
You want be, left alone.

Let those tears fall down from your eyes,
They’ll take away the sufferings along,
If not expressed, no one would know,
The pain you never show

Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I’m gonna shine tonight
Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I wanna feel alive

When things fall apart, you wonder why,
Don’t look down, keep your head high.
The world will seem a better place,
Deep within, you’ll find solace…

Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I’m gonna shine tonight,
Oh Oh Oh ohhh, I wanna feel alive 

    

ORIGINAL POEM VERSION:

Enlightened I feel to the core
Enjoy life’s gifts ask for no more
The root cause of a life on fire
Lies in having a burning desire

Life’s a marathon unlike a sprint
Showing the doors God gives many hints
I see myself at the starting line
This journey starts again, it looks so fine

I am not the Buddha to be telling you this
Just peeped inside on what did I miss
Keep working hard on what you ever wanted
Believe in yourself and the wish will be granted

Till now I was sulking, kept feeling low
I am just another seeker, I came to know
Always optimistic like now, I want to stay
And save many lives is all that I pray….

10.06.09

25 Random things about me.

The blogosphere seems to have caught up with 25 RANDOM THINGS ABOUT ME……I couldn’t stay behind either…..so here they are:

1) If my parents would have allowed, I would have been an air force pilot…..I love speed and all the craziness of a midair stunt.

2) I love to study life everyday….smile over little things that I come across…learn from them….study people’s faces in packed local trains…but never complain, because that’s life…

3) I am calm and quiet most of the time….but once I loose my temper, I would scare the shit out of the other person.

4) I am a good leader…I loved being a class monitor ,a House vice prefect, head boy and now the president of my school alumni…..I wish I could join politics one day.

5) I do not open up to everyone easily….it takes time for me to really trust people, let them be my friends and peep into my world.

6) I want to buy myself a black Mercedes Benz sometime in life before I die.

7) I am always scared of loosing people really close to me….something happening to them though I am used to seeing people go through really sad times in the hospital everyday.

8) I love attention…..and I try to showoff sometimes.

9) I really love the Indian culture….the diversity of religion and the women in Indian outfits…I wish to be reborn here itself in the valley of the Gods.

10) I am very sentimental and emotional person, sometimes I feel hurt on trivial things.

11) I am a very good writer ,poet ,sportsman ,photographer, musician and singer…..apni badhai nahi kar raha hoon main.

12) I love to look into the mirror time and again….not to see my looks but to peep into my crying eyes for the times I have seen in life that really pushes me hard.

13) I love my friends a lot….make them all feel really very special…..I am really very choosy because I never want to be betrayed and feel I made a wrong choice anytime.

14) I am very religious…I find peace in going to a temple ,a church, a gurudwara or a mosque….Only religion I believe in is Humanity.

15) I have utmost respect for all my teachers…..they have really brought out the best in me to excel.

16) I always feel that my school-Lokhandwala Foundation School was responsible for bringing out my every talent ….along with my hard work,it has contributed in making me what i am today.

17) I hate to see people smoking and generally get down from a rickshaw with a smoking co-passenger. Though I have tried 6 puffs till now.

18) I am a perfectionist…..also love to see things clean and tidy….my room ,books ,study shelf ,bed every thing will always be arranged properly….though I am not suffering from obsessive compulsive disorder..

19) Many times I feel that I am missing out of life due to these long years in medicine..that I have have a tough road ahead….but I love the respect I get in being on the road to be a doctor.

20) I am sometimes very moody and impulsive….I do things that I later regret.

21) Back bitching, cheap talks really put me off…..and so do people who make an image about me without even knowing me.

22) I can take a lot of grief with a smile on my face and later cry about it.

23) I have never had a girlfriend….though I am open to the idea of falling in love….got no time for it really.

24) I am really proud of what I have achieved in life till now….love to look at my 70 odd certificates, medals and trophies again and again to pump me up for the future.

25) I am always cautious about things I do in life because I don’t ever want to be a bad son or a bad brother….I only exist to give my parents everything that they ever asked.