2012

Life is a mystery, that interesting unread novel one cannot wait to know what’s next and the best journey one undertakes as it helps to discover and explore the unimaginable potential of the human mind and spirit.

Sitting all alone under the dim lamp light in my hostel room at KDAH, I can’t prevent myself from my retrospection of 2012 and also wait for the feeling to sink in that the year is finally drawing to a close. Never ever have I done this in my 5 years of blogging but I guess 2012 was a special year for me both professionally and personally to write about.

Some of the biggest highlights for me were:-

My Brother’s Wedding: Certainly the best and the biggest family get together and function I have ever seen in many years after being stuck with studies for as long as I can remember. Never had I imagined it would be so much fun, although I was the official driver, watchman (for the cash & jewels) and a babysitter for 8-10 cousins present at the wedding.

Joining the Masters in Emergency Medicine at KDAH: It is by far the best thing to happen in life as it has provided me the professional, social and financial security for the future. All the hard work since childhood has finally paid off with the blessings of my family, teachers and few other well wishers. What makes me proud is to have paid the entire 1^st year fees of a whooping 3.5 lakhs off my entire savings (after deduction of expenses) from the money I earned over the past 15 months, after starting to work exactly a week after completion of 5.5 years of the gruesome MBBS.

Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge: Although is started out of boredom as a Facebook page in 2011, it has strongly built up its reputation and maintained high standards only in 2012 with its awesome news content, cartoons, headlines, conversations and funny tips. My independent one man show there (and I’m proud of it) has given me so many fans, friends, visitors, subscribers, messages, comments and likes that I can finally believe, “I’m not a bad writer after all”. Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge provided me a platform to explore some witty creative thoughts and an opportunity to try a hand at writing satire. Imagination can really run wild.

Writing the title track for Rock On 2: I distinctly remember listening to the original song tune almost a 1000 times before writing one of my best songs till date in January 2012. Sad that the movie got shelved and the song never saw the light of the day. Don’t know if it ever will but it is now my dream to perform and sing that song on stage, whenever hopefully Band Ignition makes a comeback concert at LTMMC in few years to come.

And yes, there were other things too which excited me like the ACLS/BLS workshop, my 1^st independent intubation, central line, learning sonography, 2D Echo, the appreciation, hugs from many patients and their relatives at work. With so many happening things, saving lives, I sometimes feel to be among God’s special people, feeling close to Him and at peace with myself.

Looking forward to my life now, some unfulfilled dreams. I will begin 2013 on a high with a visit to the Siddhivinayak Temple, launching my own ‘dot com’ website in January and then my wandering trip to Jaipur, Agra, Fatehpur Sikri and Delhi. Joined the gym last month and hope to achieve a dream body in 2013, at least be somewhat close to what I looked like in 2^nd MBBS minus 25 kgs of extra weight now. And then celebrate my 26^th birthday in February.

Can’t wait to roar out in the world in 2015, get a decent job, buy my 1^st car (driving remains my first love) which definitely will be a fully loaded black 4X4 SUV, extensively travel abroad, see the world, get all famous, so that with time, I can ultimately achieve my only goal in life- “To leave behind a legacy”. All I want is to be remembered for the person I am, the little things I accomplish, create, the charity work which I will eventually do and leave behind footsteps for many others to follow, spreading joy and my motto in life, “Nothing is Impossible, its I-M-Possible.”

Kasab to be treated by doctor who treated Yash Chopra, urges Pakistan government to intervene.

MUMBAI: Pakistani gunman Ajmal Kasab has been down with fever for the last seven days. Officials at the Arthur Road jail, where he is currently lodged, confirmed his deteriorating health condition and also that he will be now be treated by Dr.Rohan Naik, the doctor who treated Yash Chopra forever.

A team of doctors from the JJ Hospital, who regularly visit the jail to taste the food served to Kasab and also treat other prisoners, have advised the doctors attached to the jail on Kasab's treatment to shift him to a 5 star corporate hospital immediately. Dean of JJ Hospital Dr.Arun Swaminathan said, "Enough of biryani plates, its high time he now gets platelets".

Scared for his own life & paranoid after watching ‘Jab Tak Hai Jaan’, Kasab has written a letter to the Pakistan Embassy in Mumbai, a copy which is available with Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge seeking immediate intervening on diplomatic grounds. In desperate attempt to avoid Dr.Naik’s treatment, Kasab has threatened to expose the links of the ISI & Pakistan Army with the Taliban, Indian Mujahiddin & other terrorist outfits. Pakistan has now complained to the UN alleging India to be testing biological weapons on its captured citizens.

In an exclusive interview with your favorite medical news channel, Gujarat Chief Minister Narendra Modi said, “At least our mosquitoes are fair, secular & democratic and believe in immediate justice. I’m sure the Indian mosquito will get to terrorists sooner than the Indian law. It will be epic if Kasab dies of Dengue. Since the government is so keen on keeping Kasab alive, the mosquito tried its best to kill him. Machhar ke haath bahut lambey hotein hain jaani.”

‘India against Corruption’ President Arvind Kejriwal has pledged support on social networking sites for mosquitoes to at least get Bharat Ratna or Param Veer Chakra for their heroic act and also to be made the national insect. ‘The Brave Indian Mosquito’ Facebook page has gone viral and already crossed more than a 4 million fan likes in last 5 days since we at Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge first broke the news of Kasab testing positive for Dengue. 

Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish.

Never have I been so happy writing a blog post as this one today..Finally realized what tears of happiness are! All the struggle, the hard work, the determination over 25 years has now paid off after joining the Masters in Emergency Medicine, 3 year Post Graduate program at Kokilaben Dhirubhai Ambani Hospital.

I still distinctly remember the EMS at Sion Hospital…It was during my 2^nd year medicine posting that I developed a liking towards emergency medical care. With my Registrars, Dr.Tushar Malwade (a consultant nephrologist in Canada now) & Dr.Prashant Udgire (a consultant cardiologist in Aurangabad now) to encourage me, those 2 months of medicine posting were a life changer. Of all the 19 subjects in clinical medicine, the only thing that fascinated me was working in the ED. Call it fate or destiny, with too many personal (familial) turmoil after turmoil, seeing the quality of care, the poor patients in a government hospital, I had developed a hatred towards being a clinician. Never did I ever want to go back to a government setup even for a Post Graduate Program. It was the time when I was too overconfident of my entrepreneur, marketing & organizational skills that I started thinking of opting for an MBA instead. I’m glad that that I never ran after the high paying job opportunities in the marketing division of pharmaceutical companies and opted for jobs in the emergency department, 1^st at Asian Heart Institute and then at KDAH itself. I guess better sense has prevailed in me now to stick to clinical medicine. (wink)

For the 1st time, I don’t have words to describe what I feel…just in love with the study, lectures, the library, the power point presentations, staying in the awesome air conditioned accommodation and the hectic work schedule. Attended a class on 2D echo of the heart yesterday, looking forward to the lecture on Sonography in the ED tomorrow and my lecture on child abuse on the 23^rd…I guess I’m once again in love with life, feeling it is not dragging anymore and I have something to look up to. It doesn't matter that I paid my entire 1.5 year savings as the fees with the kind and quality of education I will receive over the next 3 years, in the great ambience of the hospital, so close to home in Mumbai itself.

Thank you God, Nanaji (I miss you a lot and I know you are guiding me from somewhere up there in heaven), my entire family, mom dad, bhai and my lovely bhabhi (the newest member in our family) for being so supportive all throughout. Love you all a lot.

Its time I put in everything I got…work with confidence, motivation, determination, dedication and devotion learning & mastering all procedures over the next 3 years to save lives & make a difference. Will sure make everybody proud. Steve Job (my idol), you rightly said, "Stay Hungry, Stay Foolish".

NGO 'Being Doctor' launched, experts called in to help sobbing balding medical undergraduates.

On eve of the launch of the Faking News: Doctor's Lounge NGO 'Being Doctor', our Faking News gupt samwadata Arun Swaminathan caught up with the world famous trichiologist Dr. Billu Ustarawala and following are bites from the interview.

“To the readers of Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge. I’m highly honored to connect to you all. This interview is dedicated to all my lovely hair which once sat on the anterior one third of my scalp but have now deserted me, the reason of which I’m not able to understand. Apoptosis is defined as a planned cell death…..but why did my hair cells have to go through this deadly process , I’m not able to answer till today. Before giving up on life ,my hair used to be so happy being combed , liking the birds shit that would fall on them occasionally, stretching exercises when I would have a fight with my friends, etc ….with such lovely silky long hair then , even I used to think that I looked like the king of Bollywood SHAH RUKH KHAN ,from BAZIGAR….what a nice hair he had when he removed his helmet and shook his head to sprinkle all his sweat on the cameraman…..I miss those hairy days”, said Dr. Ustarawala with a sad smile.

1) Sir, was it too much studying that made you bald, or was it the tension of passing ?
In my MBBS under graduation days, the hair roots on my scalp were unable to bear the pressure from inside by my ever expanding brain (thanks to me trying to fill it with all medical knowledge that I should have gained in 4.5 years in the final 1.5 years only).The brain then acted as a space occupying lesion for my scalp and my poor hair had no choice but to give way.

2) Sir, is it true that you did not have a girlfriend, so you got bald?
May be, yes…The testosterone that should have been used in some other things at that point of age accumulated due to me not being able to get time off studying and took out its toxic effect on my lovely hair……At least its giving me the perfect look of male patterned baldness…cheers. I have still not managed to find myself the perfect girl who would give my hair the extra nutrients and proteins required by passing her hands through my hair.Where are you DREAMGIRL ? So if any of you fans interested, kindly feel free to contact me…lol.

Also, my hair no more got the fertilizer of GELS that I used to apply in my childhood, thanks to spike hairstyle (remember Dil Chahta Hai ?) getting famous all over then.

3) Sir, did your friends encourage you to lose hair too?
Hmm….Off lately ,I’ve been scratching my head a lot thinking where I’m going to land in future…..my engineering friends at 21 started to earn 50K a month and I was nowhere close to earning even half of it till I'm 28….Gosh. Also I am a Virendra Sehwag fan ,played cricket somewhat like him with them…..laga toh laga nahi toh gaya…..so my hair wanted to imitate his famous hairstyle then…..taklu. I think there was divine intervention too….. My friends used to call me SABU (the bald heavyweight friend of Chacha Chaudhary) , so may be God worked on me to give a similar look…

4) Sir, did you never try taking treatment or consider self hair transplant ?
I did try all sorts of creams ,oils , gels, minoxidil, etc but nothing convinced my hair to stay where they were……They continued to commit suicide at a rate faster than the strikes of pilots in Kingfisher Airlines , and then I had no choice but to approach the ELVIS OF INDIA….HIMESH RESHAMMIYA, the singer with an extra ordinary talent of barking with his nose and ask him which company branded cap made his hair grow so long…sadly he did not let the secret out. Through this interview I appeal to your readers, if anyone of you already know the secret ,then I’m waiting to hear from you…I will transplant your hair absolutely free to give you back the pre MBBS look.

5) Sir, any suggestions for our readers ?
Hmm...don't study too much to pressurize your brain...you can always pass 'gracefully' by copying and bluffing on the answer sheet ...like I did...girls can just dress in pink, put a little makeup and just smile during vivas...they will pass...so boys, please take care of your hair, girls are difficult to find after passing MBBS...if you can't save them, do turn up at my clinic anytime...and yes, we are giving away free coupons to 5 lucky winners who like and share my interview the maximum...Just keep reading and sharing Faking News: Doctor's Lounge...it really is a blessing to the boring geeky Indian Healthcare industry.

Acute gastroenteritis banned from Oylpmics after Sushil loses gold.

Baprola, New Delhi- In a shocking revelation after being holed up in the washroom for 48 hours, 2 time Indian Olympic medalist Sushil Kumar Shinde has revealed that he suffered from 6 episodes of loose motions before the final fight and was completely dehydrated when he went in.

“Sir, I was suffering from pain in abdomen ever since that hot chick in red took away all the limelight from me in the official walk of the Indian Contingent 17 days back. Today my condition worsened. While in the washroom, they kept calling my name for the bout (The fight rounds are called bout). I didn’t care what it was all about.” said a dejected Sushil in a post fight interview with our Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge samwadata Arun Swaminathan.

Apparently, a concerned Baba Ramdev ended his fast abruptly to attend to the ailing Sushil to personally teach him Kapalbhanti and bring back all the black money from London's Buckingham Palace.

A local Pandit, Ravi Shastri who had performed a Hawan at Sushil’s house before his London departure said, “ While Sushil was holding the Japanese wrestler Tatsuhiro Yonemitsu in the doggie position from behind, I saw a transparent gas fume up from the opponents rear. I think it was some biological weapon or a conspiracy of the Japanese to prevent India from getting a Gold medal.”

A committee has now been setup to investigate the matter. Meanwhile Sushil’s blood and stool samples have been sent to LTMGH for a battery of tests. It has now been unanimously decided by all nations to ban Acute Gastroenteritis from participating in the Olympics hence forth.

“I wish I could give a Dhobi Pachad to that girl in red”, concluded Sushil.

The Big Mistake.

The smile on my face as I write this post is a coverup for the only regret I have in life. Some readers might not appreciate it, some might call me foolish, or negative in thought. But the fact remains that every individual wants to lead a life of his/her liking and a constant introspection and retrospection is a normal Human nature.

As a look back at the glorious 25 years of my life, I realize that I have learned a lot, met some exceptional people, gained respect, applause. Suddenly it has struck me that by the time I would have completed my Masters degree (a must in today's competitive world), I would be 4.5 years behind my "Non Medico" colleagues from school which makes me sad (1 year repeat after 12th, 1.5 years extra MBBS duration compared to other Under graduation courses, 2 years for Masters entrance exam preparation).

Remembering school days, I was always brilliant with Mathematics and Accounts, worked very hard, stood among the toppers, was an ideal student. With time not by my side "financially and personally" in 2002, I had become obsessed about fulfilling my parents dream of "Seeing both children as Doctors", never thought what was best suited for me as per my aptitude.

Yes, Today, I'm a good physician, loving ,caring towards my patients, providing them quality, ethical medical care for a MBBS level doctor (unlike rampant unethical practices in our profession, "Aamir you are right to a certain extent"). But the 4.5 year thought has certainly disturbed me. Today, after all these years, I feel that I would have been better off had I opted for commerce after 10th and become a Charted Accountant instead with similar amount of hard work I put into medicine, a reality I'm not ashamed to accept. Medical profession really takes a toll on your bachelorhood, health, family and social responsibilities. The fruits may be sweet later, but the latent period is considerably long.

Well, all is well now and I'm glad I'm into the only thing I was ever passionate about from medical college days, "Emergency Medicine". I love my job, my place of work, my friends here and of course treating the educated patients who are pleasure to meet ( & some "nautanki", rich, pain in the ass patients too). 2012 will be my last attempt at MBA/MHA to get into the best business schools (aiming for IIMs, ISB, SP Jain, TISS and few others only) to move to non clinical / hospital administration field, or else it will be MEM (Masters in Emergency Medicine) from July 2013 at KDAH.

The 4.5 years are never going to come back, but the happy realization has given me a new zeal and motivation to study harder.  I'm keeping my fingers crossed for now, giving it everything I have got. Next few months are crucial.

Sachin bids goodbye to international cricket, announces 2nd inning retirement plan.

Mumbai: After months of anticipation and much to the relief of the BCCI who did not have the balls to ask the star batsman to retire, Sachin Ramesh Tendulkar finally decided to hang up his adidas boots in international cricket today afternoon announcing his immediate retirement plans. He will now join LTMGH as a houseman to learn the famous art of ‘Patient Batting’.

“I still feel I have a lot of cricket left in me. I have always enjoyed batting and I think LTMGH will give me the right platform and experience to learn Patient Batting. The best part is there is no worry of retirement and I can enjoy batting forever,” said an emotional Tendulkar in his statement to Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge.

This news has sent a buzz among cricket fans who now expect the God of cricket to become ‘The God of Patient Batting’ soon. Even Sudhir Kumar Chaudhary, an ardent Tendulkar fan who is usually seen with his body art, waving the national flag in the live telecast of the matches will now wear Maharashtra Nav Nirman Sena colors and be seen loitering around LTMGH with his cycle.

Our inside sources revealed that Sachin has already started preparing for his new innings with daily workout to lose weight and has got hair transplant done so that he could gain weight and get bald all over again like most medicos do during their work. He has apparently also started taking speech classes since our doctors need to know how to shout and he can only say 'aila'.

“We are very happy that such hardworking person of Sachin’s caliber will join our hospital,” said LTMGH dean Sangam Jholar. “He has already started coaching and is doing exceptionally well dedicatedly learning to fill pathology  forms of patients, memorizing  the names of the mamas and HODs, sleeping with his eyes open - since it's important to do that during lectures, laughing loudly at the HOD's and lecturers' jokes and is also practicing boxing - in case he's attacked by a patient's family," Jholar added.

“I never play for records. But I want to break the record of the highest score of 219 in One day Internationals which Viru has set. I will look forward to batting 220 patients in one day at LTMGH to reclaim my title,” said a confident looking Tendulkar.

Before going to press, there was unconfirmed news that Sachin has already signed a sponsorship deal with local Medical Representatives for 2 pen supplies per month throughout his houseman days which is being considered a landmark deal by local trade pundits.

Things to do before I die.

Inspired by the “Things to do before you die” on Travel and Living and "The Buried Life" on VH1, I often wondered what my list would look like. So at 25 years of age, the following is what I would want to do before my life’s clock stops ticking someday.

1) Drive a Supercar at more than 250 Km/ Hr preferably on Autobahn.

2) Go for a long bike road trip with friends across mountains and rivers.

3) Go skydiving and bungee jumping.

4) Open a charitable hospital in the name of my late grandfather.

5) Be a part of a rock band as lyricist, singer and guitarist.

6) Do theater.

7) Make a short movie.

8) Write a novel, and at least get my blog published as a book for me to read.

9) Spot a UFO and catch it on film.

10) A ride in a fighter jet.

11) Go camping on the banks of the Ganga.

12) Six pack abs.

13) Have a cabinet full of trophies and certificates.

14) Go for a past life regression therapy session and know who I really was before.

15) Make a retirement home in the garb of nature.

16) Become a public figure.

17) Buy a 2-seater convertible, a 4x4 SUV and a cruiser superbike.

18) Start an NGO for education of under privileged kids.

19) Feel the thrill of a standing ovation for me from hundreds together.

20) Feel the exhilaration on accomplishing something impossible and punching the air.

21) Test fire a machine gun and all the different arms and ammunition I can.

22) Learn as many musical instruments as possible.

23) Visit Egypt and go gambling in Vegas.

24) Do an “Into the wild” or “Motorcycle Diaries” – Set out on an adventure not knowing what to expect.

25) Fulfill every dream of my parents and be the most ideal son, brother, husband and father.

The Knight shall rise.

Never before have I been so excited and spontaneous to write a blog post… never in past have I endorsed products, written movie reviews…but today was an exceptional day.

Coming straight from a night shift, I didn’t want to miss out on watching the ‘Dark Knight Rises’ on the very 1^st day of its release. I’m not a movie freak and watch only those I actually look forward to, have high expectations from…somehow I have always preferred to go to the theater all alone, more like a movie critic than as a audience. Came back home at 12.00 noon, 12.15pm left for the theater taking a chance to get a ticket…12.45 the show starts.

What happened in the next 3 hours was mesmerizing, enchanting, a dream of a movie that left me speechless…I was awestruck with the direction, editing, acting…everything was just perfect and I really wished it did not end. All I could do was to be the first one (among the few) to give the movie a standing ovation for what I had witnessed. 

Nicely dressed in a smart formal wear, as I walked through the mall on my way back, looking at many couples, friends, students, people window shopping, etc caught my eye…It made me relive the past…I observe life everyday closely which brings me immense happiness. While looking at those stores with expensive stuff I had once thought I could not buy from, a credit card (with a good amount as limit) and a Galaxy Note in the pocket (of my own savings) provided much warmth and satisfaction. I really have come a long way in the past 20 years in Mumbai all on hard work and struggle.

With almost 60-65 batch mates from my medical school getting into some sort of a post graduation course and me walking the less travelled path and failing twice (of not getting into premium B schools after 2 attempts at CAT ), I do at time felt like an idiot or a complete loser…Don’t know why but I’m still very happy and satisfied with life, to stay with my family, go swimming in the rain, biking everyday to work in the lovely weather on my modified cruiser, playing TT ( and kicking some ass even after 10 years), music...God has really been kind.

Also, a candid talk with my friend Vidur Mahajan (one of the most down to earth person I have met in 25 years) on phone yesterday did cheer me up too. “We live life just to be happy. Good that you have defined what makes you happy. Even a person doing a MD medicine from AIIMS might not be happy…but do save money from your earnings.”, was what he said.  It was nice to settle a few misunderstandings too. (He was pissed off on me for not attending his wedding in spite of being 3 hours away in Delhi).

Well the movie has definitely cheered me up. I’m ‘happier’…. feeling good about myself...my self esteem…profession…. The Dark Knight did rise…. I shall too, someday.

My Middle Path

I often wonder what the real purpose of our life is… why we live, go through the journey, what motivates us and so on...Though the answers were not easy to understand, I feel that it’s the journey alone during which by making mistakes and learning from them, by closely observing people, events and incidents in our lives and around us, man continuously evolves and adapts himself to understand the true meaning and goal of life.

I have always believed in the theory of Karma alone. And if we look closely at all religions, they are nothing but a guide to how one should live his/her life. The enlightened Buddha taught us the middle path to happiness. I have found my path it seems.

After not cracking CAT twice, I do occasionally feel if I made a mistake to follow my dream. But then I look around at people like Harsha Bhogle, Chetan Bhagat, Roman Atkinson (Mr. Bean) and many others who in spite of being highly qualified in their respective educative fields chose to be someone they thought they were meant to be. I too belong to a breed of such peace seekers.

Sitting on my study shelf, I decided to jot down what I would want my life to be like considering a human being has approximately 70 years to live of which 50 years are the good years before the signs of aging and diseases chain him down and of those 50 years, 26-29 are spent in education alone. This is what the blueprint of my life plan looks like:

1. Prayer, Spirituality and Philosophy.
2. Caring for family, their dreams and hopes.
3. A decent job paying money for a nice home, car and a yearly vacation.
4. Personal health: Jogging, exercise, gym and swimming.
5. Study: Life sciences, Management, Accounting and Medico legal subjects.
6. Music: Playing, listening and composing.
7. Blogging, Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge and Reading.
8. Sports: Tennis, TT, Billiards, Bowling, Football, Cricket, Chess and Darts.
9. Watch movies, Television shows and playing computer games.
10. Teach in schools, social work and LFS alumni work.
11. Art & Craft, Adventure, Traveling, Hiking and Photography.
12. Long Road trips: Biking or driving.
13. Calligraphy, Salsa, Numerology and Palmistry
14. Social life with friends, colleagues and kids.
15. No to smoking, drugs, alcohol.
16. Always stay innovative and creative.
17. As a clinician: Emergency or critical medical care only.

Time to wait and watch for what it turns out to be like....

Tusshar Kapoor becomes 'butt' of jokes, WHO officials annoyed.

Mumbai: In a setback to India’s image as a hot medical tourism destination, Indian Macho Superstar Tusshar Kapoor’s (who shot to limelight with his dumb act in Golmaal series) butt exposing act has put the entire nation to shame.

The BCG mark evidently seen on the Right buttock has become the centre of attention and has drawn huge ire from the WHO (World Health Organization) officials about the grossness in Indian Healthcare system. To add fuel to fire, the protruding nipples of the man boobs or 'moobs' which have been compared to ‘Totapuri Mangoes’ on social networking sites like Facebook and Twitter have highlighted the Silicone implants gone wrong in a botched up surgery conducted at LTMGH.

The above photograph which is now the centre of the storm has attracted support with Dr.Keedawala, the Head of the FN: Doctor's Lounge Institute of Clinical Research claiming, "Tusshar's butt looks ripe and 'The perfect Ass' for clinical trials. If Tusshar can offer his butt for research into new ways of giving injections, he would not only contribute to science but to the entire mankind, more than he would have by quitting acting".

With the likes of Tusshar Kapoor joining in the race for the 'Item Girl', even Poonam Pandey and Rakhi Sawant are feeling the heat of the new degree of exposure they have to do in future to stay in the competition.

When our gupt samwadata Dr.Salman Butt contacted Tusshar, he stated, "It is nothing but a testosterone injection abscess scar which my Doctor Arun Swaminathan gave me. I plan to sue him in court soon for making this particular photograph public. AA E A O AEO Penchor"

A Red Corner Notice has now been issued against Dr.Arun Swaminathan who is apparently on the run and is expected to escape to US soon.

Relatives threaten to stare at nursing sisters if doctor does not stop.

Mumbai: In a Tit for Tat incident in the psychiatry ward of LTMGH, angry relatives of a psycho patient Mr.Raas Leela (admitted for stalking a female colleague) turned violent and threatened to stare at the Hospital nursing sisters if the on duty Houseman did not stop staring at the unfortunate patient’s sister Bholi.

“Humein iss Doctor ki niyat shuru se theek nai lag rahi thi….He sees other patient twice a day but seems to pay undue attention to Raas visiting him 4-5 times a day, chatting with Bholi and trying to come close to her. He also gave him medications on his own, quietly put the Ryle’s tube, Foley’s Catheter and IV lines without arguing with the nurses. What surprised us was that today the Doctor helped the mama tie the patient too.

When Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge questioned Dr. Phil Good, he explained, “I just feel a special connection with Raas. He reminds me of my MBBS days how I had myself become a stalker after this senior of mine. She was so so….Ahem Ahem…..About me talking to his sister, as a doctor I believe it is important to make frequent eye contact with relatives to convey better. I have a clean heart.”

Dr. Arun Swaminathan, a famous US based neurologist on conditions of anonymity said, “ Doctors are the most pervert of all working professionals. In my vast experience of 1 year as an intern, I have commonly seen many batch mates look at patient or their sisters with a bad intention.”

Taking clue from the incident, Aamir Khan has already planned the next episode of ‘Satyamev Jayate’ to high lighten and showcase the pervert Doctors in bad light similar on lines of the 1st episode.

Open Letter to Aamir Khan

Dear Mr.Aamir Khan,

I have been trying hard but cannot get over the fact that you can 'sell' ignorance with such ease and honour.

Though I agree to 'parts' of your show , Lets first get the facts right.

1) You said patients on dialysis live upto 15-20 years. Fact - The 5 year survival rate of patients on dialysis is about 25-30 % ( less than many cancers). Renal transplant remains the best available treatment option for chronic kidney disease. (I hope you take responsibility for people who after watching your show plan to not go for kidney transplant and die in less than 5 years)

2) An overenthusiastic girl from the audience said that her father was forced for an emergency liver transplant '6-7 years' ago for gastroenteritis. Fact- Even today there are ' a handful' of hospitals in India offering liver transplants. To think that 6-7 years ago , just a gastroenteritis patient was offered liver transplant is not only improbable but technically impossible.

3) A diabetic patient blamed a doctor for losing a toe. Fact- Lacs of diabetic patients per year lose entire limbs due to diabetic foot ( cellulitis and gangrene) . Doctors go about step wise cutting off toes , then foot, even the leg up to above knee level in order to save as much limb as possible. The patient in your show might still be able to walk just because of the timely action taken by the surgeon.

Mr. Aamir Khan I am not getting back at you because i took your show personally. Yes , I agree that there are doctors indulging in shameful malpractices and even i know a few of them. But i can proudly say i am surrounded by more doctors who work day and night just to ensure that their patients get the best possible treatment..The' BAD' doctors should be punished and we all can come together to ensure we do not encourage such malpractices.

Secondly I would have appreciated if you would have thrown some light on the entrance examinations and the hard work, dedication and sacrifices a doctor needs to clear his MBBS, MD, DM etc examinations.

I wish you had spent half a day in the emergency department and OPD of a Govt. Hospital and realised that the work timings, working conditions, lunch breaks, doctor : patient ratio, hours of sleep per week , living conditions in the hostel and the stipend is worse than a class 4 labourer. You would have also surprisingly realised that the 'DOCTORS' are the only 'FUNCTIONAL' part of a Govt. Hospital which still caters to thousands of patients in a day. When you compared statistics of U.K and India , why didn't you include the salaries, living standards and the doctor: patient ratio the doctors have in developed countries.

Coming to generic drugs, Yes, a large amount of rural population should have access to cheap generic drugs. But one should not forget the pharma companies that charge more for the drugs are the ones that spend crores of rupees for research and development of new drugs. Had there not been drug trials no new drugs would have been invented and we would have mortality rates compared to stone age.

Also i agree that most doctors endorse certain brands of drugs (which i do not deny may be for some financial gains also ) because they have faith in the quality of the 'active drug' of certain companies. Yes many local companies manufacture generic products ( which is a copy of the original molecule discovered by the expensive company)which can be used for unaffordable patients. But you did not mention that many of these generic drugs are of substandard quality and are the reason of many uncalled for deaths due to drug reactions. Most doctors would not want to take responsibility of the quality of the 'generic' drugs.

Lastly, What do you mean when you say ' People of high IQ and desire to earn money should not become doctors'. Why aren't doctors allowed to have an ambition ?? How can a person who earns 4 crores for an episode of a so called 'social' show decide on what should be an individual's ambition and financial status !! Why can there be no doctors who earn well for their professional skills and do not indulge in malpractices ?! It just reflects your hypocrisy.

I would like to offer a few solutions to the problem.

a) ' BAD' doctors indulging in malpractices should be suspended for life. We need a strong regulatory authority to publish expected treatment 'protocols' and punish doctors found to be doing unethical practices.

b) Regulatory authorities should also keep a check on the quality of drugs being manufactured and at the same time 'sold' at the local chemist.

c) Govt. medical colleges and hospitals should multiply several folds, increasing the number of doctors in each department , improving the doctor: patient ratio. Doctor's salaries and living conditions shoul be looked after and should be comparable to other professionals.

d) Regular CME'S and licensing exams ( like other countries) every 5-10 years.

e) The Govt. should spend 6-8% of GDP ON HEALTHCARE and a part of which should also be committed to the research and development of newer drugs.

f) No politician should be allowed to be associated with any private medical colleges.

g) The general public should be educated well about common diseases and the 'acceptable' qualifications of the doctors.

These are just a few points i can think of at the moment. I am sure had you bothered to have a panel discussion and find solutions in a healthy way, We could come up with a lot more viable solutions.

However you chose to sensationalise your show, by hiring 'few' people with 'fake' or 'amplified' problems and shed a few tears.

Hope you understand that Your allegations like ' HAMARE DESH KE DOCTORS ITNE BIMAAR KYUN HAIN' and 'MAUT KE SAUDAGAR' are as seriouus as calling all actors 'Rapists' ( after the shiney ahuja incident ) and all Muslims 'Terrorists' .

Knowing that you twisted not one but not many known medical 'facts' to strike a chord with the 'ignorant' 'naive' audience, How do you expect me to have faith in you and the stories you would project in the upcoming shows. You have betrayed a large segment of the 'classes' as well as 'masses'.

All i can say is i feel sad for the death of the 'image' you created in our minds and hearts. An unbiased Aamir who strives for nothing but the truth and the betterment of the society was after all a MYTH.

Condolences,

An honest Doctor .

Man gets job, thanks expired medications.

Mumbai: Isratunissa, a manager at a local appliance store, had the task of hiring someone to fill a job opening. After sorting through a stack of C.V's, she found four people who were equally qualified. Isratunissa decided to call the four in and ask them only one question. Their answer would determine which of them would get the job.

The day came and as the four sat around the conference room table, Isratunissa asked, 'What is the fastest thing you know of?'

The first man replied, 'A THOUGHT.' It just pops into your head. There's no warning. 'That's very good!' replied Isratunissa.

 'And, now you sir?', she asked the second man.

'Hmmm...let me see 'A blink! It comes and goes and you don't know that it ever happened. A BLINK is the fastest thing I know of.'

'Excellent!' said Isratunissa. 'The blink of an eye, that's a very popular cliché for speed.' She then turned to the third man, who was contemplating his reply.

'Well, out at my dad's property, you step out of the house and on the wall there's a light switch. When you flip that switch, way out across the field the light on the barn comes on in less than an instant.

'Yep, TURNING ON A LIGHT is the fastest thing I can think of'.

Isratunissa was very impressed with the third answer and thought she had found her man. 'It 's hard to beat the speed of light,' she said. Turning to Ganpat, the fourth and final man, Isratunissa posed the same question.

Old Ganpat replied, 'After hearing the previous three answers, it's obvious to me that the fastest thing known is DIARRHOEA.'

'WHAT !?' said Isratunissa, stunned by the response.

'Oh sure', said Ganpat. 'You see, the other day I wasn't feeling so good, I had taken medications but they turned out to be expired. I ran for the bathroom, but before I could THINK, BLINK, or TURN ON THE LIGHT, I had already shit myself..'

Ganpat was hired immediately.

Lost & found.

For the first time in life I feel like an aimless boat without its oars, drifting in the ocean. There is no desire, no determination…. Only one thought to make it big in life, but I don’t know how.

Here at KDAH, I have a dream life… working 16-17 days a month out of which 7-8 are night shifts, that makes it 20-21 effective days I get to be me. My days are spent doing things I always hoped I would be doing when I grow up be it playing music, writing, sports, watching movies, spending time with family, etc and would continue all my life. The job satisfaction is immense to be working at one of the best Emergency centers in the country.

At 25 years of age, I feel as if I have done it all… no regrets, no mistakes…not boasting or exaggerating about myself but it needs to be expressed so I can smile reading this when I gift myself my ‘Printed Blog’ in the form of a book on some birthday of mine in years to come. Only a happy thought that I have lived 25 wonderful years living a dream of achievements. Looking at old photographs, watching videos, a glimpse of all certificates, the coin & stamp collection, mark sheets, etc fills my heart with happiness…. I really have lived a different life, in my own world feeling the sense of satisfaction…relief…salvation…seems like the philosophy of a dying old man about his life.

I guess its time to change, leave things behind as they were, move onto something new…I really want to travel a lot, go on an adventure trip, meet new like minded ‘different achievers’ from all walks of life, meet people looking for their purpose in life…I don’t want to be tied down by family, society, money, materialistic love…Its going to be just me and my freedom to express, be creative, feeling the human spirit…the adrenaline rush to be who you are…Dear life, bring it on!  

Story of FREE SPIRIT- The Blog.

It all started 4 years back with a way to relieve the stress of the day to day hectic medical life by pouring my heart out. Facebook was not so popular then and ‘Blogging’ was the favorite writer’s pastime ( now taken over by Facebook Notes). Necessity is the mother of all inventions and so the ‘ Free Spirit’ was born. This blog post is dedicated to this blog, an inanimate best friend & girlfriend of mine whom I have shared everything with in past few years.

I have opened up my life here, my journey over the years with all the ups and downs I have been through. It is the bare naked truth, the open book of my life. Poems, songs, articles, plays…. Didn’t know I could be so versatile. Sometimes when I read my own posts, I’m surprised if I wrote them, some of them really are heart touching.

Growing up from a boy who was denied admission in a school just because I came from a Hindi medium school during my KG classes, to being a doctor and writing so much has been an immensely satisfying journey. Writing had never been a hobbie and was limited to the exams and essay & poetry writing competitions in inter house competitions at school.

This talent that I have nurtured over the years has now reached its peak and I’m madly in love with my brain child Faking News: Doctor’s lounge. It really is doing great and I love coming up with medical satire which is being read by medical and other professionals all around the world. I had close to 14000 visitors on this blog in last 4 years but with more than 1.1 lakh visiting the Facebook page and more than 300 fan following in 5 months is a proof of Facebook’s outreach.

80 % of all articles have been written in a dead of the night when I’m in a trance like psychotic state (without influence of alcohol or drugs as life itself gives me a high) including this one which I’m writing sitting in the medical social worker’s room in KDAH at 1.25 AM.

Life really has been a party ever since I passed MBBS and I’m living the dream. Job, studies, writing, music, swimming, tennis, long drives, biking, traveling, etc…there is so much I’m doing and it reflects on my personality and energy. Other plans in pipeline include learning salsa, calligraphy, numerology, palmistry, teaching, social work, LFS alumni stuff and many other unplanned surprises life has to offer.

I really hope this journey continues and I can come up with more creative articles to maintain the high quality and standard I have set over the years for my style of writing.

All I live for is the adrenaline rush, the thrill, the peace and happiness…. I only want to be remembered for who I really was. The day I have a meeting with God, I’m sure ‘We’ will be looking down with a smile on our faces thinking ‘the Free Spirit partied like a Rockstar’ living the ideal life of a good human being.

Poonam Pandey to the rescue as course length saga continues.

Mumbai: A day after Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge reported about Doctors protesting 1 year increase in length of MBBS course and demanding longer course, medical undergraduates have found ‘support’ and solace in the bosom of Poonam Pandey, a former Kingfisher calendar girl .

Miss Pandey who was present during the convocation ceremony at LTMMC yesterday has publicly accepted the brand ambassadorship of the ‘Increase course duration movement- Long, Longer , Longest’ since it rhymed well with her seminude bathing videos called Bold, Bolder, Boldest. In her 1st rare public appearance, the beauty who has not been posing nude even a year after promised so vowed to shed all her clothes the day MBBS courses are made of 8 years duration.

Dr. Ketan Desai, the non corrupt President of  Medical Council of India and a self proclaimed Poonam Pandey fan said, “ I waited for her videos all these months. But she always tweeted pictures which fell short of my fantasy target by few meters of clothes. It was very disappointing. We now hope to increase the length of the course to 8 years as soon as possible and pray she keeps her promise for this noble cause. After all doctors are human too.”

The LTMMC student council has already written a thanksgiving letter to the model after she filled the geeky doctors with the hope of having fireworks in the next college festival, Ashwamedh 2013. “We will all dance naked on stage if she keeps her words,” said Dr. Pranshul Kamdar, an intern who failed 1 entire semester waiting for Poonam Pandey to strip after India won the World Cup. “Unlike her, we will keep our words.” he added, and claimed that at least 50 other interns and final year students from LTMMC alone were ready to strip with him to celebrate Poonam’s commitment next Ashwamedh.

When Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge reminded Poonam’s manager Laloo Shukla that she had not kept her promise made before World Cup, Shukla clarified, “ She has been misquoted and that too out of context. She meant the Beach Volleyball World Cup, not the cricket one. She wants our Beach Volley Ball team to be number 1 in ‘ Global Exposure’ like the IIPMs.

When asked how much was offered to Poonam for the brand ambassadorship, Dr. Ketan Desai declined to give a figure but hinted, “She might get a paid job as lecturer in AIIMS to teach Female Anatomy. If found satisfactory, which I’m sure she will, we will honor her with a MBBS degree so she can become rich like all doctors and never has to strip again.”

In spite of repeated phone calls and SMSs from our Samwadatas, Poonam Pandey could not be contacted as she was busy rehearsing for her cheerleader dance and the drunken nude post match parties during the upcoming Indian Premier League next month.

Doctors protest 1 year increase in length of MBBS, demand longer course.

By Arun Swaminathan (ASS-ociated press of India)

Doctors and students from Sion Hospital strongly came out against the proposed 1 year increase in the duration of the MBBS course being considered by the health ministry. They termed the increase in duration insufficient and inadequate, saying that longer increases were needed to maintain the quality of medical education and skills among students.

“It is important to encourage students to study further and spend time in college.” said head honcho Dr.Mohit Garg, a staunch proponent of medical education. “Most students spend only 5 ½ years now which is insufficient for them to learn important skills like playing carom well and table tennis or eating 20 vada pavs a day. Most students can only spend a year or two learning these important things. In the first year, they are so scared they do not go anywhere including the library as they do not want to get ragged. In the 3rd year, they have to do extra activities like going to the wards and attending rounds which does not give them enough time to improve their carom skills. Being good carom players is an important skill to have for doctors as it teaches them effective patient batting skills. They become all-rounders.”said Dr.Garg, who is an ‘all-rounder’ himself.

Dr.Garg says that it is important to have a 7 year course at least, as it would give sufficient time to learn these skills. In addition, they would have longer to learn better ragging techniques with more experience. They would also be able to play football and other sports which would help them, he claimed, despite his non-sporty physical appearance. He claimed that if he had the chance, he would play football with the residents in gynec or dermat, especially the female ones and after the success of these events, more people would be encouraged to participate in these events.

Supporting Dr.Garg’s statement was the famous student, Sagar Chandekar who wholeheartedly supported the decision to increase the length of the course but said that it should be increased by at least 3-4 years. “Most of my batch mates are not yet married and I feel that increasing the course length would increase their chances of getting married. The longer they are here, the greater the chance of meeting someone and getting hitched.” Sagar, who famously had a crush on the librarian, spoke very sentimentally when he remembered past experiences and missed chances.

Even residents support the decision to increase the length of the course saying that it would give them longer to ‘train’ and ‘work with’ MBBS students. Said an orthopedic resident, speaking on condition of anonymity, “It really pains us to see all these girls join the course and then come to ortho in the 3rd year only. By the time we really get to ‘know’ them, they are at the end of their course and we have to start finding new girls to ‘train’. Increasing the course length would make it more convenient for us to ‘train’ these girls for a longer period of time. We can give them ‘hands-on’ experience.”

Dr.Garg, who famously turned down offers from Google and Apple to remain and serve at Faking News, said that the move to increase the course length was a step in the right direction and would encourage more youngsters to come into medicine. Studying in comfortable and clean college rooms, eating healthy, tasty and cheap food, learning important skills like filling patho forms and getting ragged were some of the other incentives for students to spend 10 years getting a very important degree that would give them the power and license to study for another 10 years  till their super-specialization. This would ensure that they would be very experienced before they even started working and doing less important things like saving a few million lives and discovering new treatments and would know important things like patient batting, carom, table-tennis, phone-chatting and filling patho forms which form an essential part of service as a doctor. This way, he said, they would graduate with lots of knowledge, but no hair on their heads.

Another major benefit was that they would be experienced exam takers and would be able to help their kids take exams too. Chances are, doctors and their kids would be taking exams at the same time. When this reporter asked Dr.Garg how he knew so much about helping one’s children with exams, Dr.Garg just smiled enigmatically and said, “I know.”

Whether the government decides to increase the duration remains to be seen, but it would certainly find a lot of supporters in Sion Hospital to back the measure. Dr.Garg, for one, would welcome the move to make sure that he can keep dating more new chicks in his band Ignition for many more years to come.

Alcoholic's goondaism- attack doctors in Mumbai.

Mumbai: In a bizarre incident similar to the attack on media persons by the ‘Vele’ lawyers in Bangalore recently, there was pandemonium in the Psychiatry OPD of LTMGH today afternoon when newly joined members of the Alcoholic Anonymous group beat up the resident doctors for failing to provide them with the Alcohol brand of their choice.

“We all were having a gala time, doctors included, drinking the regular ‘Tharra Khamba’ and dancing to Royal Stag Mega Music when the new guy ordered the doctor for a peg of Smrinoff and to ‘Make it Large’. The innocent doctor politely told him that the stock was over for the day which angered the newly joined trio of alcoholics who started hurling the empty glass bottles along with the ‘ma-ben’ awesomefucking words at the doctor”, recollected Ganpat Bevdu, the oldest surviving alcoholic of the Alcoholic Anonymous group.

With the help of the CCTV footage, the police are on the hunt of the trio of doctor beaters but they are finding it extremely difficult due to the non availability of the names and address of the culprit ‘Anonymouses’.

All group activities have now been stopped temporarily as the doctors have stopped reporting to work till the guilty are punished. Few older members have been discharged from the ward on Metronidazole and alcohol prescription till the matter is resolved. The Hospital Dean Sangam has strongly condemned the attack saying, "The guilty will be shown no mercy. No one would be spared for violating the law and order of the hospital". He has apparently ordered that henceforth, the entire stock of alcohol will be stored in his cabin till the hardworking police force bring the guilty to book.

Ganpat Bevdu and others have meanwhile started a Facebook page ‘Justice for LTMGH Doctors’ which already has made headlines with 5 fans in 1 day and more are expected to 'Like it' soon.

For more information for the Free Alcohol and Chakna, write to
Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge ,
C/O Dr.Free Spirit,
PO BOX: 420-9211, Mumbai

Patient dies in quest for strength, doctors strike work.

Mumbai:  In spite of  Bihar Health Minister Ashwini Kumar Choubey's threat last week to cut off the hands of junior doctors if they go on strike, the shameless doctors across the state have once again gone on a flash strike accusing patients of perennially cursing their good handwriting. The decision was taken by the Doctor's Association following an attack on a colleague Dr.V.I.Agra’wala when his patients died after consuming more than the prescribed amount of Sildenafil.

Patients in past have made several allegation that what doctors write is not intended for the public to see but only for themselves and their peers. "The way 'Normal' people write is decipherable amongst all because everyone knows what to look for. The illegible doctor handwriting is 'Made Not Born'. How could anyone get through college far less medical school writing so badly?," asked Ganpat Shah who too has been taking treatment for erectile dysfunction.

“Why hold the innocent Doctors responsible when the patient’s wife wanted more?”, argued Dr.Har’dick, the secretary of the Doctor's Association.

Hearing about the outrage in heaven through Faking News, Steve Jobs offered to develop a software called  'I-Rx' where standard printed prescription could be written by verbal commands, but protesting doctors disagreed to using technology stating their prescription changes frequently depending on the gifts they get from the medical representatives.

“How can the doctor’s be so heartless? At least the Emergency Departments should be running. I’m getting dark and I’m worried”, said worried Dharavi resident Isratunissa. In view of the strike, many ICU patients were forced to sign the DAMA form  (Discharge against medical advice) and packed home. Unconfirmed reports also claimed that few rioting doctors stole the ‘Anatomical Snuff Boxes’ from the pharmacy after scaring the pharmacist with their claw hand.

Municipal Union of Hospital Services (MUHS) has now decided to make Doctors sit for a handwriting exam from 2013 before issuing graduation degrees to make sure that they can write something readable by the general public and not just by the chemist.

A Few Doctor Handwriting Tips from Faking News: Doctor's Lounge

• Abbreviate - It's much faster to write 'SOB' than 'shortness of breath'.
• Write small - Distance takes time so writing tiny saves time.
• Skip vowels - Can u rd ths sntnce? Most sentences can be read without vowels.
• Write the first two or three letters legibly then Scrawl. Doctors use the same words over and over so it only takes one or two letters in context to recognize a specialized word eg.

Dare to dream beyond AIIMS, IIPM medical school launched.

Mumbai : With the fall in revenue after the public notification by UGC (University Grants commission) that IIPM is not a University and has no right to issue degrees, India’s biggest fraudster and self proclaimed management guru Prof. Arindham Chaudhari announced the opening of IIPM Medical School today.

“We at IIPM Medical School offer M.M.B.B.S to medical students, a dual course called Masters in Bachelor of Medicine & Bachelor of Surgery. Our on panel professors team include eminent medicos like Dr.Amitabh Bacchan, Dr.Vijay Mallaya, Dr. Rahul Dravid, Munnabhai and others. In line with our tradition at IIPM to give free laptop and a foreign trip to students, we will gift a Doctor’s set comprising of 2 aprons, 1 hammer and 3 pens to every student along with a trip to a real hospital before the completion of the 3 year course”, said Chaudhari.

When asked about the career prospects and relevance of such Doctors in today’s fierce competition, our Faking News samwadata Arun Swaminathan was legally warned of asking defamatory and disturbing personal questions.

Inspired by the IIMs to grant extra marks to females and non engineers to maintain diversity in the batch, IIPM medical School has decided to give 33 % Quota for women candidates with 5 marks extra to good looking ones. Medical students will also be provided fake campus placements as consultants into 7 star corporate hospitals. With IITs similar plan to provide medical education whitewashed after no clearance by the HRD ministry, trade analysts claim IIPM Medical School might actually be the “Game Changer” for the deficit of doctors in the country.

IIPM spoke person Shah Rukh Khan added, “IIPM is a non profit organization and we believe in providing quality education at cheap prices. Our M.M.B.B.S course is likely to cost a paltry Rs.25 Lakhs which is peanuts compared to what other private institutions currently charge. We plan to tie up in future with Harward School of Medicine and other such non existing fake Universities too.”

Although Mr.Chaudhuri neither confirmed nor denied the possibilities, it is being rumored that he has already planned to buy out Hospitals like AIIMS, KEM, LTMGH, PGI and others in the near future.

The Flashback

Life is so beautiful and I feel blessed to be who I am…It has been an awesome 25 years of life going through all sorts of ups and downs but the spirit is still high and I’m just loving its every phase now…I’m doing what I always loved, Emergency Medicine along with the writing, guitar, tennis and the little meditation I always do.

Looking back into time, my entire life moves in front of me in flashback which brings a smile to my face and few tears too. The following are the random most memorable highlights of this awesome journey.

1.Driving at speed of 170 km/hr while coming back from work and feeling the adrenalin rush. Driving surely will always remain my first love.

2. Jogging every morning on Modak Sagar Dam during my rural posting with arms outstretched and feeling the breeze…..It sure was heavenly.

3. Starting Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge…It makes me smile so much, brought me more acclaim and recognition and pushes me further for pursuing imaginative and creative awesomeness.

4. Blogging at odd hours past midnight being all psychotic....messimerizing.

5. Riding 100-150 kms  per day on my way to Vaitarna, Khardi and near by places.

6. The hugs, smiles and tears shared with many patients.

7. The feeling of passing MBBS and celebrating my Birthday the next day.

8. The applause, the echo of the claps every time I have been on stage….I close my eyes often to relive them again.

9. Playing the best Table Tennis in top form with Mihir Dalal, Shiva Seth, Kunal Suradkar and Mayank Gupta.

10. The convocation ceremony and the nostalgia of 5.5 years that it was all over.

11. Forming Band Ignition and performing during college festival…. It sure will remain the most memorable thing that happened to me…. actually to us all.

12. Taking to my Grandfather, holding his hand and kissing him on his forehead 2 days before his death.

13. Arranging the 1st alumni party and bringing together around 200 ex students for the first time.

14. Reading Arun’s article on me ( Faking News ) and laughing so much.

15. Sleeping with my 2 young dear cousins hugging me tightly from either side.

16. My dad just before his bypass surgery telling my mom, “Hanuman Baba sab theek karenge”…even today it brings tears to my eyes.

17. Participating in Channel V Panga and a patient in LTMGH actually recognizing he had seen me on TV.

18. The days as the head boy of my school- the mini celebrity for the tiny tots wanting to shake hands with me after the assembly each morning.

19. Participating in various inter school competitions and winning allocates.

20. Running from the college Boys common room to Kings circle station crying all throughout after knowing my dad had a heart attack.

21. Participating in Bombay Medical Congress in final year…. and celebrating the team spirit although we did not win in spite of being the truly deserving.

22. Playing my acoustic guitar in dim light and enjoying the loneliness.

23. Playing with my cousins Kartik and Kaustubh and clicking their photographs.

24. Participating in a rally after the Mumbai attack, standing on divider at Gateway of India and shouting slogans against politicians and Pakistan.

25. Each and every day spent at my native place, “Khekra” a small town in U.P…..they are my readily available happy thoughts. Any time ever I feel low in life, I just think about my grand parents, gardening, cycling, skating, cricket in the huge house we have there.

Well, needed to pen down the important ones so I can smile reading this later in life….I’m sure there are plenty of memorable moments more to come and I will be waiting to welcome them with arms wide open.

Rock On 2 title Track.

Ruki Ruki zindagi ki rahon mein
Hasin hain, khushi hain, tu hai, bahon mein
Koi gam na ho mere hathon mein rahejo tera haath

Janeja tu jo mere sath hai
Zindagi mein koi baat hai
Tere bin kahan mujhe chain bhi
Tere bin dil mein kahan jaan-jaan-jaan-jaan

Rock on...ooo...Rock on…ooo
Rock on...ooo...Rock on….

Let’s relive the fun we all had
Without Magic we always had been sad
This is one life, live your dream, c'mon
Go Rock on....

Teri nigahon se pyar hum pane ko
Aise kyun hain taraste
Basse ho dil mein tum aise
Din bhar hum hain taraste

Teri Nazar hai jaadu
Basi hai dil mein justju
Kya kahe tumhe dil ki yeh baat …

Rock on....ooo...Rock on
Rock on...ooo...Rock on….

22/01/12

New medical developments to look cool, cardiologists feel the heat.

Mumbai: In a planned outrage against 6 pack abb-ed and 24-36-24 figure conscious actors yesterday, city cardiologists protested in front of gay Shah Rukh Khan’s bungalow ‘Mannat’ demanding compensation from the rich and famous for eating into their business.

People in general, both old and young have now become more health conscious sweating it out while stalking the opposite sex in the gym or at jogger’s park, resulting in a decrease in the number of future potential ‘customers’ pointed out a cardiologist who did not wished to be named. “Earlier I used to admit panicky patients with gastritis in ICCU, starting them on placebo IV drips and discharging the next day after running them on all tests including all routine, Malaria, Dengue, Widal, Triple H ( Hepatitis B &  C, HIV), Urine and Stool for culture and sensitivity making some good money but there has been a decrease in number of patients after movies like Dhoom 2, Om Shanti Om, Ghajini, etc and I sit idle most of the time now”, said famous cardiologist Dr.Hriday Rog with a sad face.

Some doctors agreed it was wrong to single out actors alone and over the years, high profile elite like politicians and cricketers too have added to the doctor’s woes. Congress President Sonia Gandhi went to the US for glycerin enema after suffering from constipation claiming she went for some ‘confidential’ surgery, Amar Singh flew off to Singapore to start his own Kidney racket, Virendra Sehwag went to Bangladesh for his alopecia (Baldness) and others too should be held responsible. Many claim it is nothing but a cheap publicity stunt on the part of the wannabes to grab the limelight.

When Faking News: Doctor’s Lounge news crew reached the spot, hardly could they make out what the fuss was all about (because of the secret handwriting on the placards) until they saw the doctors burning effigy of Hrithik Roshan and beating Ghajini with slippers. This angered Shah Rukh’s good friend Salman Khan who tried running over the protesting doctors, this time in his Caravan. No one was seriously injured.

Support poured in on online forums for the protesting doctors from Cardiologists and Pharmaceutical Companies manufacturing ‘Statins, Ecospirin and Clopidogrel’ and medicated stents from all over the country. They have warned that the day is not far when like the ink on Baba Ramdev’s face or the slap to Sharad Pawar, a frustrated doctor would throw a pint of blood on some actor/cricketer/politician's face during their press conference.

The ugly scenario turned into celebration as news came in that Cardiologist Dr.Hriday Rog and his Gynacologist wife Dr. Meenupauz had just become proud parents of twins Angina and Vagina. The protesting Doctors then dispersed and were seen sitting and drinking in a bar close by.