Demonetisation: Modi still rocks, will sponsor free shocks.

Mumbai – 2 days after Congress President Sonia Gandhi’s announcement of Rs. 5 crore to anyone who increases Rahul’s IQ as reported by the Quackdoses, Prime Minister Narendra Modi while addressing his rally at Mumbai today to propagate cashless economy has announced the sponsorship of free Electro Convulsive Therapy (ECT/shock therapy) for Rahul Gandhi, Arvind Kejriwal and Mamta Bannerjee.

Over the last 2 weeks, BJP leaders have on record made statements to the press that Mamta Bannerjee suffers from hallucinations, Arvind Kejriwal suffers from Chronic Modi- Psychosis and that Rahul Gandhi needs an evaluation by a Psychiatrist (and a Pediatrician as well for his growth charts!!). Unconfirmed source have claimed that BJP has already tied up with the Quackdoses multispecialty hospital to give 5 cycles of free ECT as a pilot project to the 3 leaders, before expanding the project to other politicians too.

Our gupt samwadata spoke to Dr. Shock Detomi, Mumbai’s leading psychiatrist who said, “ECT is a type of therapy in which electric currents are passed through the brain causing brief seizures with ‘chemical loccha’ in the brain and is indicated only for select symptoms, similar to those seen in the 3 since the announcement of the demonitization drive. Pappu suffers from Delusions of Grandeur (believes that he is a deity, has special powers like being able to cause an earthquake), Kejriwal suffers from Delusion of Persecution (Believes that others ie. Modi — is plotting to get him killed or poisoned) and Mamta suffers from Schizophrenia (mental disorder involving a breakdown in the relation between thought, emotion, and behaviour, leading to faulty perception and inappropriate actions) evident from the announcement of ‘Modi Hatao, desh Bacho’ campaign.”

Meanwhile, the Bar Owners Association of India has announced the boycott of cashless transactions as customers have not been able to recall the pin number after the drinks.