Sunday, December 10, 2023

Patient diagnosed with depression, blames Bajaj Finance.


Mumbai: In an incident which has perplexed even the learned psychiatrists in the country, a young patient diagnosed with depression has shockingly blamed and sued Bajaj Finance for it.

The 30 year old male Mr. Loande has sued Bajaj Finance for discrimination, on the grounds that he had not received even a single phone call from the company ever!

It is a well known medical fact that being the target of discrimination can stir up a lot of strong emotions including anger, sadness, and embarrassment; and people often get stuck on episodes of discrimination, because they’re not sure how to handle those experiences which can lead to depression.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, Mr. Loande said, “All my friends get multiple phone calls every morning from Bajaj Finance, HDFC Bank (k behalf pe), Just Dial, etc, for pre approved loans or free credit cards, but they have never called me so far. My friends often boast of how they now relieve their stress every morning not by doing Kapalbhati with Baba Ramdev, but by giving mother-sister swear words learnt from Virat Kohli to those Bajaj Finance marketing executives. Because of them, I have to now pay a psychiatrist for his expensive and critical analysis about myself, which my wife anyways gives me for free, daily.”

Unconfirmed sources have now claimed that Bajaj Finance has now ordered an internal enquiry to investigate how Mr. Loande’s number was missed out, and have instructed their executives to strictly ensure he gets a call for loan, before he pulls his pants down to use the washroom every morning.