52-year-old ‘Mr. Perfectionist’, who was taken to Quackdoses Hospital yesterday for breathlessness and cough complained of uneasiness after a group of medical students surrounded him for revision of their systemic examination before the upcoming University exams next month. Our sources confirmed that few interns also tried multiple failed attempts of securing an IV line on him and he complained severe chest pain when one of the interns told him that they would now practice putting a Foley’s catheter. Failing to interpret the X-Ray, the panicky CMO and interns at Quackdoses Hospital decided to shift Aamir to nearby Mohalla clinic where he was detected with ARDS (Acute Respiratory Distress Syndrome).
“Aamir had suddenly very shallow and rapid breathing which necessitated immediate intubation and ventilation. The patient is stable now and is admitted in the critical care unit,” said Dr. Hruday Fefde, a leading Pulmonologist in Mumbai.
Shallow and rapid breathing is normally seen in Asthamatic, COPD, ILD or LVF patients but it also results from a break up in relationships, failing in University Exams, not getting internship completion sign from HOD, scarcity of good looking batch mates, etc said a physician who suffered from similar symptoms in his undergraduate days. He said that the intubation is a minor procedure for Dr. Fefde who did his residency at The QuackDoses Hospital & Research Institute, Mumbai.
With the fear of the eagle eyed medical undergraduates looking for case presentations for their clinics looming large, Aamir has expressed his wish to be quickly taken to Baba Ramdev’s Patanajli Ashram than spending a few days in the ward, said a worried Kiran Rao.
Doctors have meanwhile asked Aamir to publicly apologize for his statements against the medical fraternity, or else keep his Aadhar Card ready.
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