Patients names ‘Sulpha’ Drug he was allergic to, sends doctors in a tizzy.

Mumbai: In a never before seen incident in the history of modern medicine, a patient was able to give name of ‘Septran’ as the Sulpha drug he was allergic to, sending shock waves among doctors and other healthcare professionals across the country.

It is a well-established fact that on being asked regarding their allergy history, most patients in India by default say ‘Sulpha Drugs’ without ever knowing a single Sulpha Drug or a history of even being prescribed one.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, Dr. Steven Johnson, famous for his syndrome and research work on ADRs (Adverse Drug Reactions) said, “Sulpha allergy has been known to run in families in India, and the secret allergic history has been passed on from generations to generations like an autosomal dominant genetic inheritance. The patient naming ‘Septran’ was at least a start, to break the taboo and tradition of patients being clueless so as to what Sulpha drugs were. Many patients when asked what symptoms they develop after taking the alleged 'Sulpha' drugs, the standard reply doctors get is ‘pet kharab ho jata hai’, instead of the redness, itching, hives and others. Our treating team doctors have decided to submit the patient as an interesting case study to journals like Lancet & the New England Journal of Medicine.”

Unconfirmed sources have now claimed that a junior resident Arun Swaminathan (name changed) who was examining another patient on the next bed almost put a rectal thermometer in the patient’s mouth, due to the shock he experienced on hearing 'Septran'.

To reduce the risk of a litigation suit, the hospital neither confirmed nor denied the news regarding Dr. Arun’s misadventure.

Ghost of Infection Control Nurse spotted in hospital, staff protests.

Mumbai: The nursing team of the Emergency Department at the Quackdoses Multispecialty Hospital has been spending sleepless nights after spotting a “ghost” of the Infection Control Nurse (ICN) at the hospital.

ICNs are responsible for ensuring hand washing compliance of all hospital staff, and present the data in the monthly Infection Control Committee (ICC) Meetings. Many have claimed that the data is often forged or entered randomly to show a higher compliance of various departments. To counter claim that hospital staff hardly sees them watch over for hand washing, ICNs rebut that there are always ghost auditors.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, the ICC chairman Dr. Hath Dho said, "Some 15 nurses in the ER stopped work today, and smashed beds with IV stands demanding action to remove the ghost, which some nurses claimed had attacked them in the ladies’ washroom, after they did not wash their hands. The nurses then held special prayers -- recitation of the NABH and infection control guidelines -- at the hospital, and started regularly washing their hands before and after touching patients in a bid to drive out the "ghost”. The department will reopen in evening after few hours of shutdown due to the ghost-related protests.”

Experts have now claimed that the "ghost attack" could be a sign of psychological distress among hospital staff in the wake of the COVID pandemic, and have asked ICNs to be careful in maintaining their ‘Ghost’ auditor status quo.

Patient sues hospital, alleges delay in administering lifesaving medicines.

MUMBAI: In a never before seen incident in the history of medico-legal cases, a patient has sued a multi-speciality hospital in the city for not giving him Pantoprazole & Ondansetron intravenously on admission, thereby causing emotional distress.

It is a well-known fact that ordering Inj. Pan and Inj. Emset are like the developmental milestones for any doctor, similar to how a baby learns to speak monosyllables at 9-12 months of age. Both these injections are considered the ‘welcome drinks’ for all patients getting admitted to any hospital or nursing home, and are often referred to as ‘masala’ or ‘cocktail’ when consultants dictate treatment sheet to residents. Even nurses over time develop reflex actions to load the vials without prescription and use the drug filled syringes as flush while putting the IV lines.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, Mr. Pan-dey, the patient said, “Like how hotels give a complimentary bottle of mineral water at the time of check in, as a customer, is it wrong to expect a vial of Inj. Pan and Inj. Emset on completion of formalities at the admission desk? I expected that these basic life-saving drugs should have been administered immediately to me for my long standing bleeding piles. I wonder now if my treating doctor was really a quack.”

In their prayer application to the court, Pan-dey’s lawyers have claimed that these were unpardonable lapses from the doctors at the hospital, since the standard side effects of any medicine is ‘nausea, vomiting & gastritis’, as seen in pharmacology viva exams, which should be controlled with pre-treatment of Pantoprazole and Ondansetron.

Our attempts to contact the hospital for explanation went unanswered due to lack of relevant options on the IVRS (Interactive Voice Response System).