Your child’s mental health is more important than their grades.

3 Idiots is one of the best Bollywood movies ever and I’m sure most Indians would have watched it at least once. The story of Farhan and Virus’ dead son depicted in the movie is a household reality in India. It also highlighted the fact that Mental health is a neglected issue in the country. It is a shame that mental issues are still considered a taboo and people don’t seek early help.

My work in the Accident & Emergency department, apart from managing common medical and surgical emergencies also involves attending to a lot of patients with undiagnosed anxiety and depression, many of whom are teenagers. I have seen teenagers and young adults, depressed and suicidal due to parental pressure, who end up receiving Electro convulsive therapy (ECT) or Ketamine therapy when oral medications have failed.

The number of suicides among teenagers due to anxiety and depression is on the rise in India and it hurts me to read news of teenagers giving up on their lives every other day.

So what can be a neglected cause? In India, it is common for parents to pressurize their children to opt for certain streams such as engineering or medical without taking into consideration their interests and aptitude. From there, the burden of living up to the parents’ expectations begins and the child begins to forget his own personality and gets lost.

Over a period of time, it gets difficult for children to handle the stress suddenly thrown at them. These expectations become a mental stress for the child to cope up with, leading to anxiety, depression and unhappiness. Teenagers then feel isolated, thinking that nobody understands them, which can in most cases draw them completely away from their family and friends.

The solution - ‘communication’. Parents need to watch for signs of stress in their kids and make an effort to talk to the child, their friends and also to teachers at school to know the cause. It is high time people realize that mental health is nothing to be ashamed of. Neither is talking about it.

Following is a poem to spread awareness about thoughts which might be going in the mind of such a teenager coping with parental pressure. 

Kho gaya hun main kahin,
Kitab ke kisi panne mein,
Bhul gaya hun apna wajood,
Ek acha beta banne mein.

Unke sapne poore karne mein,
Jalte angaron pe chalta hun,
Jeene ki chah thi meri,
Ghut ghut ke roz marta hun.

Sochta hun chale jaun kahin,
Jahan sirf mere sapne hon,
Na ho koi ummed ka bojh,
Tanha rahun, aur na koi apna ho.

Ho sakta hai ek din unhe,
Unki galti ka ehsaas ho jaye,
Par jiss din khulegi unki ankh,
Shayad khud ko hi khatam kar lun.

After fake Pastors and Prophets, fortune-tellers to soon treat patients.

New Delhi – Taking cue from fake Christian pastors treating patients with equally poor acting skills, the government plans to start OPDs on similar lines where astrologers, palmists and vastu experts will ‘diagnose’ and treat patients. Horoscopes and kundalis will be the mainstays of such facilities that would apparently dispense medical advice to the sick and the vulnerable.

In an exclusive interview with the Quackdoses, Health Minister Harsh Vardhan said, “Already the educated Indians are looking at muhurats to undergo planned surgeries these days. In such proposed OPDs, the team of experts will study the planetary combinations at the exact time the questions are asked, to arrive at the right astrological diagnosis & treatment. The bridge course and astrologers are coming now, the tantriks will soon follow”.

Expressing shock at the government’s proposal, the Indian Doctor’s Association released a press statement claiming that such initiatives were nothing but promotion of the RSS agenda. The association also expressed fear that we were not far away from a day when ‘gau mutra’ will be sprinkled on patients before they are wheeled into the operation theater.

Meanwhile, the Academy of Motion Pictures has announced that this year’s Oscar nominations for best actor will only go to such Pastors and their patients, and the award ceremony will begin by observing a 2 minute silence for Indian Healthcare.

P.S – “Whosoever after reading this post does not press the like button, be ready to face the consequences. Feel the vibration of my power and then talk to me. Praise Quackdoses, Hallelujah”- Jesus.

Dhinchak Pooja beats ototoxic medications and Otitis Media to become number 1 risk factor for hearing loss.

Mumbai: In a jaw dropping study conducted at the Quackdoses Multispeciality Hospital, it was found that Dhinchak Pooja songs have become the number 1 risk factor for hearing loss in the world. In less than 4 years since the release of her 1st song ‘Swag wali Topi’ in 2016, her songs have caused impaired hearing in more than 10 million people across the globe.

Experts have claimed that noise from her songs causes inflammation of the ear drum leading to build up of fluid or pus behind it, which blocks the transmission of sound causing a conducting hearing loss. It has been suggested that her songs can also directly cause damage to the inner ear or the auditory nerve.

Speaking at the UNESCO headquarters in France yesterday, Prime Minister Modi has assured that though it will be touch for India to stop her all alone, his government is trying hard to stop her release any songs in future. He also threatened to wipe Pakistan out by sending Dhinchak Pooja with a mic and speaker at the Indo-Pak border if Pakistan threatens India with nuclear weapons over the ongoing Kashmir dispute.

Unconfirmed reports have claimed that the CBI is using 3rd degree torture on P Chitambaram, currently in custody in connection with INX Media money laundering case, by making him listen to Dhinchak Pooja songs on full blast in a closed room.

She, however, declined to comment on the study results and scared away our reporter with live performance of her latest ‘Nach ke Pagal’ song.

Pawar undergoes surgery, hidden gold reserves found.

Mumbai: In a shocking revelation that has stirred the political scenario & has left the medical fraternity aghast, doctors who recently operated on Sharad Pawar for a tongue-and-throat surgery revealed that the Nationalist Corrupt Party (NCP) Supremo has a skeleton made of gold. The former Union minister, who people claim is the 2nd richest and the most corrupt person on Earth after Sonia Gandhi, was flown in to Mumbai from Delhi via an air ambulance.

Doctors who conducted a full check-up and had unfortunately ruled out anything serious were curious about the increased bone density on the serial X-Rays and decided to operate as soon as possible. The hospital authorities refused to divulge further details regarding his health condition. There is no clarity on whether the senior leader’s hidden gold is 24 carat or less.

“He was brought to Mumbai because he was previously treated here. The mal-practicing hospital in Delhi was forcing him to undergo surgery there and allowed him to leave only after signing the Discharge Against Medical Advice (DAMA) form. He will be medically fit to loot India again in a few weeks’ time. If Sheikhs in Dubai can have cars made of gold & platinum, what’s wrong in having a custom made skeleton made of the same metal?,” said NCP leader Ajit Pawar, who visited the 78-year-old politician at the QuackDoses Multi-specialty Hospital.

Earlier too, Pawar's surgery had made headlines in 2014 when he suffered from a hip fracture after slipping and falling on the pavement outside his house during a routine evening walk. He subsequently accused the BJP workers of peeing outside his home to make the sidewalk slippery, and the harassment still continuing with BJP poaching on senior NCP leaders by misusing government agencies like Income Tax & Enforcement Directorate to make them defect, ahead of the assembly elections due later this year.

This was the fourth surgery of the veteran politician. He has earlier been operated on for his oral cancer, a fractured hip and another being the famous Sardar slap, a quick-minor procedure which made his smile from :-/ to :-l .