Monday, May 2, 2011

The Personality Contest


Happened to find the application form of the Personality contest (Official Ragging Session followed by Dinner comprising of Pav Bhaji or Chinese noodles and Manchurian along with a glass of Rasna-orange flavor, every year) for my immediate juniors which I had made around 5 years back….To this day, I remember few of the hilarious answers to the following….check it out for yourself.
Note – Inspired by the lineage of application forms seen over the years , but an original piece of work.


VENUE- PHYSIOLOGY AUDITORIUM
3rd floor, LTMMC Building
Sion- 400022
15th Dec, 2006
Respected Sir/Madam,
I ………………(Name) would like to apply as a contestant for the PC 2006. I think I’m suitable when you read my :
Name - ………… Age - ………… Sex - ……………
Height - ………… Length - …………
Sexual Orientation - …………… Girth (tough one) - ………………
Five things I cannot do when I’m erect - ……………………………………………
Five things I cannot do when I’m down - .....................................................
MY ANSWERS TO THE FOLLOWING NON EXPLICIT QUESTIONS :-
1-Being a virgin is letting your tool to rust and it is not a sense of dignity but a lack of opportunity. Your opinion. …………………………………………………
2- “Ek tapakti boond aapki zindagi badal sakti hai”. It is true because ………………………………
3- An original family planning slogan that you would want to spread.( Example- On a BEST bus: “Kripiya piche se chadiye” ) …………………………
4- What is better, Viva or Oral ? Why ?……………………………………
5- I know I came in this world because of a) Family Planning 2) Something Tearing. Why ? ………………………
6- “Come behind the pyramid and I will make you a Mummy”. Comment………………………………
7- Before you knew actually how children were born, you thought that………………………………………
8- Here are slogans for products only I use :
A)Reliance Condoms ………………………………………………………………
B)Colgate hair removal cream …………………………………………………
C)Fevicol lubricant …………………………………………………………………
9) If I were to die tomorrow, I would like to have sex with……………………………because he/she……………………………
Answer the following questions truthfully :
A-The Girl I like the most in class and why ? ………………………………
B-The Guy I hate the most in class and why ? ……………………………
C-I think I can win this Personality Contest because …………………………………………
HATS OFF TO THE FOLLOWING WHO’VE MADE ME THE PERSON I’M TODAY : (STRICTLY FROM THE BATCH)
MR. HOT ………………………………………
MISS. HOT ………………………………………
MR/MISS FUNNY ……………………………
MR/MISS BORE …………………………………
MR/MISS BOOKWORM………………………………
MR/MISS TEACHER CHAATU ………………………………
MR/MISS SENIOR CHAATU …………………………………
MY IMMEDIATE SENIORS ARE ROCKING BECAUSE………………………………………………………………
Your Obedient Junior,
………………………………