Friday, July 4, 2008

LOOSING WEIGHT....HAIR BY HAIR

This article is dedicated to all my lovely hair which once sat on the anterior one third of my scalp but have now deserted me, the reason of which I’m not able to understand. Apoptosis is defined as a planned cell death…..but why did my hair cells have to go through this deadly process , I’m not able to answer.


Before giving up on life ,my hair used to be so happy being combed , liking the birds shit that would fall on them occasionally, stretching exercises when I would have a fight with my friends, etc ….with such lovely silky long hair then , even I used to think that I looked like the king of Bollywood SHAH RUKH KHAN ,from BAZIGAR….what a nice hair he had when he removed his helmet and shook his head to sprinkle all his sweat on the cameraman…..I miss those hairy days…..

Let me try to think of the various factors which might have just contributed to my new look :-

1) The hair roots on my scalp are unable to bear the pressure from inside by my ever expanding brain (thanks to me trying to fill it with all medical knowledge that I should have gained in 4.5 years in 1.5 years only).The brain is now acting as a space occupying lesion for my scalp and my poor hair have no choice but to give way.

2) The testosterone that should have been used in some other things at this point of age is accumulating due to me not being able to get time off studying and taking out its toxic effect on my lovely hair……At least its giving me the perfect look of male patterned baldness…cheers

3) My hair are no more getting the fertilizer of GELS that I used to apply in my childhood, thanks to spike hairstyle(remember dil chahta hai ?) getting famous all over then.

4) I am a Virendra Sehwag fan ,play cricket somewhat like him…..laga toh laga nahi toh gaya…..so my hair want to imitate his famous hairstyle now…..taklu

5) Off lately ,I’ve been scratching my head a lot thinking where I’m going to land in future…..my engineering friends at 21 have started to earn 50K a month and I’m still nowhere close to earning even half of it till I’m 28….Gosh.

6) I have still not managed to find myself the perfect girl who would have given my hair the extra nutrients and proteins required by passing her hands through my hair.Where are you DREAMGIRL ?

7) My head hair are jealous that my chest hair are getting special treatment of getting waxed to give me the bodybuilder look…..and I was a fool thinking only women are jealous of other women.

8) The other people who are bald want a high profile celebrity like me to be their style icon…..so may be unki buri nazar lag gayi hai….

9) God is very pleased with my friends…..nahi samjhe ? My friends call me SABU (the bald heavyweight friend of Chacha Chaudhary) , so may be God is working on me to give me a similar look…

I’ve now tried all sorts of creams ,oils , gels, minoxidil, etc but nothing seems to convince my hair to stay where they are……If they continue to commit suicide at a rate faster then the poor farmers in vidharbha,maharashtra , I will have no choice but to approach the ELVIS OF INDIA….HIMESH RESHAMMIYA, the singer with an extra ordinary talent of barking with his nose and ask him which company branded cap made his hair grow so long……If anyone of you already know the secret ,then I’m waiting to hear from you.

3 comments:

TheUniqueTiger said...

Great article... Seems like 'baal' mein kuch kaala hai... In fact 'baal' hi kam hai.

Btw, you could have spelt Reshammiya correctly! Doesn't matter, I know your gray matter is getting more air these days... you know why haha!

Aniruddha Agarwal said...

poor u...
ur hair loss is in your jeans..

Anonymous said...

lol , some interestin' hairy facts ! :-),Mohit, it may be that your hair is missin' those stretching exercises & Lotsa bird shit !!, that might help :)
Anyway , nice posts , keep postin ', buddy :) c ya ..