The Unforgettable Tour.

ALL CHARACTERS IN THIS ARTICLE ARE "NOT" FICTITIOUS AND BEAR SOME RESEMBLENCE TO MANY PEOPLE LIVING AND NOT DEAD. READER'S DISCRETION IS ADVISED.

I was reading the Times of India the other day and was surprised to find a headline on the front page …..”BA HAS LOST MY BAGGAGE 18 TIMES”……as I read on ,I just found out that it was about the blog post of none other than the biggest superstar in Indian cinema, Amitabh Bachan……Now I Don’t have a problem with what he writes on his blog ,after all he has all the right like I’m enjoying mine writing this…. but what baffles me is that it makes it to a news of national interest….it is published in all the newspapers and shown in news channels around, British Airways coming up with apologies ,etc….As such ,the news media has no work these days but to talk about all comedy serials (I’m fed up from all of them, every news channel has some or the other cheap comedian trying to act as if he has cracked the best jokes ever with judges laughing to show their made up smiles and stained teeth in the camera on jokes they don’t understand and give them marks....really stupid) ,about daily soaps on their sister channel , crap from bollywood and about GOD showing all signs of his existence…..PLEASE ,STOP THIS SHIT…..

Mr.Bachan has been in the news these days for his blog and for going on an “UNFORGETTABLE TOUR” with his family and some other actors…..both these things had made headlines because there were reports that Amitji was not writing on his own but had it written by someone or being paid for writing his blog…Their TOUR'S STORY is for me to tell……

One day, jaya told Amitji…. “Aeji, I think we’ve become old now , Abkishek is also finally married after having all the fun with Dipanita Sharma and Karisma Kapoor and I now want to see the world , can you take me on a world tour ?” ……Amitji replied, “ All right ,but I suppose even Abhishek and Aishwarya have no work these days so lets take them along. I will arrange for the tour.People seem to be forgetting me because of no recent hit, lets name our tour THE UNFORGETTABLE.”

INTERMISSION

Their stroll around the world is all set now, they’ve all left…..roped in a few other stars and I was left wondering the reasons for them to take this break .After scratching my head for a long time ,I could come up with only these following hypothesis :-

1)UNEMPLOYMENT – Because of Mr.Bachan not inviting all his FRIENDZ (pun intended) from bollywood for his son’s wedding, everybody seems to be angry with him. They’ve all decided to boycott the junior B and prevent him from getting some work…Who cares anyway, he has given only few hits so far….guru ,bunty aur babli,sarkar,yuva…rest all bombed…So all of them are free now and Mr.bachan thought that may be his monthly budget will get balanced again if they can earn by dancing around at few places……I think, the family members can join some EKTA KAROOR'S television soaps…they are doing great these days and money is also good…..

2)PSYCHIATRIST ADVICE – Amitji has still not recovered from the shock of his great performance in RAM GOPAL VARMA KI AAG and his psychiatrist has advised him to go for a vacation.

3)RUNNNG AWAY – He seems to be running away from all the BHUDDHAS around chasing him asking him the tricks to woo a girl of your daughter’s age…..like he did in NISHABD AND CHEENI KAM…..lucky man he....aaj kal toh langoor hi angoor kha rahe hain...

4)MNS BREAK – He has been given “TIME PLEASE” by MNS leader to prepare for the second round of debating…..seeing the opportunity, cadbury break toh banta hai….

5)SPEND SOME MONEY – the Bachans have signed a Rs.1500 crore deal with adlabs….thoda paisa udda diya toh kya pharak padta hai ? 300 crore for Amitji,100 crore for Abhishek,100 crore for Aishwarya.......and 1000 crore for Amar Singh to stay away.

6)SERIOUS JOB – He seems to be taking his job too seriously of promoting IIFA and bollywood around the world….what other way than to dance around and catch some attention….

7)“JUNIOREST B ” – I am sure in an year or two , a new Bachan will soon join the family. So before they see all the painful time , a nice vacation was required.....

8)SON’S TRAINING – He has already taught Abhishek to copy him while acting in the movies….poor chap has no talent of his own…..these stage shows are the other pastimes……he should be taught that also…..COPYCAT BANNA HAI TOH PURA BANO NAA….

9)BORED - Amitji is bored of the hassles with his 'rivals' at home with some news cooking up every other day in the media and want to bore the international audience now...

MR.BACHAN ,I WISHED, YOU HAPPEN TO VISIT MY BLOG SOMETIME. (LIKE NAGESH KUKUNOOR ,the other day who asked me to contact him and has still been on the run…..Im still waiting for a call from you nagesh), ….all I wanted to do was remove my frustration of my exams coming up , but unfortunately you became the bakra….AND,PLEASE REMEMBER TO DRINK DABUR GLUCOSE BEFORE THE CONCERT AND ALSO GIVE TO OTHERS ....MAY BE IT'LL GIVE SOME EXTRA ENERGY TO YOUR OLD LONG LEGS.....

Loosing weight...hair by hair.

This article is dedicated to all my lovely hair which once sat on the anterior one third of my scalp but have now deserted me, the reason of which I’m not able to understand. Apoptosis is defined as a planned cell death…..but why did my hair cells have to go through this deadly process , I’m not able to answer.

Before giving up on life ,my hair used to be so happy being combed , liking the birds shit that would fall on them occasionally, stretching exercises when I would have a fight with my friends, etc ….with such lovely silky long hair then , even I used to think that I looked like the king of Bollywood SHAH RUKH KHAN ,from BAZIGAR….what a nice hair he had when he removed his helmet and shook his head to sprinkle all his sweat on the cameraman…..I miss those hairy days…..

Let me try to think of the various factors which might have just contributed to my new look :-

1) The hair roots on my scalp are unable to bear the pressure from inside by my ever expanding brain (thanks to me trying to fill it with all medical knowledge that I should have gained in 4.5 years in 1.5 years only).The brain is now acting as a space occupying lesion for my scalp and my poor hair have no choice but to give way.

2) The testosterone that should have been used in some other things at this point of age is accumulating due to me not being able to get time off studying and taking out its toxic effect on my lovely hair……At least its giving me the perfect look of male patterned baldness…cheers

3) My hair are no more getting the fertilizer of GELS that I used to apply in my childhood, thanks to spike hairstyle(remember dil chahta hai ?) getting famous all over then.

4) I am a Virendra Sehwag fan ,play cricket somewhat like him…..laga toh laga nahi toh gaya…..so my hair want to imitate his famous hairstyle now…..taklu

5) Off lately ,I’ve been scratching my head a lot thinking where I’m going to land in future…..my engineering friends at 21 have started to earn 50K a month and I’m still nowhere close to earning even half of it till I’m 28….Gosh.

6) I have still not managed to find myself the perfect girl who would have given my hair the extra nutrients and proteins required by passing her hands through my hair.Where are you DREAMGIRL ?

7) My head hair are jealous that my chest hair are getting special treatment of getting waxed to give me the bodybuilder look…..and I was a fool thinking only women are jealous of other women.

8) The other people who are bald want a high profile celebrity like me to be their style icon…..so may be unki buri nazar lag gayi hai….

9) God is very pleased with my friends…..nahi samjhe ? My friends call me SABU (the bald heavyweight friend of Chacha Chaudhary) , so may be God is working on me to give me a similar look…

I’ve now tried all sorts of creams ,oils , gels, minoxidil, etc but nothing seems to convince my hair to stay where they are……If they continue to commit suicide at a rate faster then the poor farmers in vidharbha,maharashtra , I will have no choice but to approach the ELVIS OF INDIA….HIMESH RESHAMMIYA, the singer with an extra ordinary talent of barking with his nose and ask him which company branded cap made his hair grow so long……If anyone of you already know the secret ,then I’m waiting to hear from you.

Medical Jungle

I really like to enjoy studying people…..Their faces reflects the misery ,the frustration,the sorry state of mind,a reflection of what’s going on in their ever working head .After spending about 3 glorious fun filled years in college, I’ve finally come close to classifying the organisms I see everyday….Don’t worry, I don’t intend to challenge microbiology….but develop a whole new branch of MEDICAL COLLEGE STUDENTS MACROBIOLOGY.

Everyday as I enter the college (don’t take the literal meaning of everyday. Ask my friends how frequent a visitor I’m to college) I’m looking around at people , I’ve been studying for some time now and found that they can be simply classified under the following headings :-

1) FRIENDZ – A friend is a person who kicks your butt , but still loves you….I’m sure this is true in medical college scenario. They are the best company for all those lonely souls who have not yet managed to find themselves a girlfriend or a boyfriend to spend the entire day with…..or really don’t bother to get into the stupid shit happening around….They love to spend time among themselves , have all the fun and all that too without being GAY…

2) BMC SWAP CARDS – These are the people you happen to say “ Hi ” in the morning or when you see them for the first time in the day (and think ….saala subah subah iska hee muh dekhnaa tha kya ? ) and a “Bye” with equally good feelings before leaving college….such a routine reminds me of the BMC appointed staff in the college and hospital who happen to swap their attendance card twice daily in the same manner…..once in the morning marking their attendance and once in the evening before going back home to get a much needed rest.

3) I SEE YOU –This is the third category of people we meet…you give them a look when you see them…your eyes meet but the lightning of egoism suddenly strikes both of you to even say “ hi’. It just reminds me of how we medical guys greet our dear PSM BOOK “PARK” ….sooner or later we do try to make an effort to patch up….

4) ENDANGERED SPECIES – This category of people are the ones who are hardly seen , hardly heard and are never there….Even the teachers after going through the attendance sheet wish they could come face to face with these exotic variety of people….ATTENTION:- beware from such fellow batchmates , after their hibernation period ends before the exams, some of the can manage to get the best hunt and end up becoming the king of the college jungle.

5) MAAF (a famous word in LTMMC) TYPES – These are the people you would love to avoid,hate and pull the leg of…but I’m sure they are the ones you would be interested in knowing every detailed gossip about ….to keep you afresh yaar…


And finally you would surely come across “NORMAL” people also who let life go on at its own pace without really worrying about what others are doing….I think I belong to this category but not all would agree in calling me NORMAL….. I JUST WISHED THEY COULD GET BEHIND MY EYEBALLS AND SEE THE WAY I LOOK AT LIFE….may be then they’ll understand.