Sunday, June 1, 2008

BEING OSAMA


The world now seems to be going through the worst financial crisis…markets falling everywhere, rupee becoming weaker day by day, banks becoming bankrupt and so on. To garnish the already wounded people, the terrorists all over seem to be celebrating some festival everyday for which they are bursting bombs like firecrackers each day at some part of the world or another….I think Osama bin laden should concentrate on other fields too than just using the internet to give signs of him being alive. The recent bomb blasts in various places in India and Pakistan has kept me wondering what I would have really done if I would have suddenly turned into Mr.Laden…..here are few of my crazy thoughts :-

1) Distribution of free pistols to children…..boys normally like guns, I would help replace the plastic ones with originals….as for the girls, I would come up with my own theme of a BARBIE DOLL AS A SUICIDE BOMBER.

2) Opening schools for promotion of terrorism –In my schools, I would make sure that after each period, a low intensity bomb explodes in place of the bell. My schools would offer practical training in all the latest technology in making bombs and using the most advanced weapons with regular updates. Our curriculum would also include teachings to hijack planes and nuclear scientists along with pictures of our old missions shown on a slide show. I would also get eminent terrorists to hold talk shows for encouraging my little future terrorists….in short do everything to get my INTERNATIONAL SCHOOL OF TERROISM an ISO 9001 CERTIFICATE…..and yes, free scholarships and a chance to study abroad in Pakistan for my toppers.

3) I would stand for the presidential candidate in the U.S in the future election…..If I am not selected, I will try my hand in Pakistan where I'm sure I will win…..Once I'm through I will try to get Afghanistan merged with Pakistan and name it LADENISTAN.

4) I will also start a LADEN TRUST OF FAMILY WELFARE to support the family of all those brothers who get mad after watching videos of me trying to teach them WORLD PEACE but surprisingly end up becoming terrorists.

5) Lastly, I will request the MEDICAL COUNCIL OF INDIA to make it compulsory for medical interns to get training in my camps after their 3 months of PSM posting because my studies indicate that after the posting, interns feel like going nuts and the wild animal in them wakes up…..I shall provide them with free placements and lucrative jobs for treating my terrorist brothers in Afghanistan and Pakistan.

Enough of these wild thoughts……I am a deep thinker, so was just wondering where the world was going from now….. I am happy to be on the road to become a doctor AND SAVE LIVES than be an illiterate terrorist who kills innocent people in the name of jihad……LONG LIVE HUMANITY !

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