Saturday, February 21, 2015

Pappu suffers from Enuresis & breath holding spells: The Quackdoc exclusive


New Delhi- In a major embarrassment for the Congress party which may be considered even more shameful than their much deserved tally of zero seats in the recently held Delhi elections, Rahul Gandhi’s pediatrician Dr. Ratna Johari in an exclusive interview with The Quackdoc has revealed that the 44 year old comedian still suffers from enuresis and breath holding spells.

Enuresis, also known as bedwetting or urinary incontinence is an inability to control urination, often referring to people who are old enough to be able to exercise urinary control. Breath-holding spells are the occurrence of episodic apnea, possibly associated with loss of consciousness, and changes in postural tone usually precipitated by anger or frustration. Both these are common childhood conditions, especially among young children and the most common reasons parents ask for medical help.

“I have been seeing him ever since the disaster was born. Most of the wealth that was amassed by the Gandhi’s after looting India over the last 6 decades has been spent on seeking treatment and buying diapers for Rahul Baba. I’m sick of him emptying the jar of toffees at my clinic for other pediatric patients and also playing doctor-doctor using my stethoscope with his ‘chamchas’ every time he visits for a checkup. His enuresis is so bad that he wets in his pants on laughing while watching videos of his own speeches, and holds his breath even on seeing his nephew Raihan (Priyanka Gandhi’s son) sucking on a lollypop while he doesn’t get any”, said Johari.

The revelation has left the congress scion totally devastated so much so that he has decided to not participate in any more standup comedy shows (much to the relief of the already battered Congress), along with suing the doctor for breach of trust and patient privacy. Congress Party has meanwhile claimed that their leader is taking a break from politics to “reflect” on the future course of his party after a series of electoral defeats.

“I’m left with no money, I have no girl, and everybody ridicules me. I’m beginning to feel like a medical intern / houseman now. She has permanently derailed my prospects of ever getting married”, Rahul tweeted after the interview went viral on social media.

Taking swift action, Delhi Chief Minister Arvind Kejriwal set up a committee today and ordered for a probe to investigate the source of funding for Rahul’s medical bills and diapers.