Sunday, December 11, 2011

MBBS exams marred by rampant cheating, MUHS approaches Anna.


Mumbai: In a desperate move after the outrage by the citizen groups against the “Registered” local quacks, MUHS has approached the anti corruption crusader Anna Hazare for help.

With the death of 21 people in the past 1 month due to cough and cold, it is now clearly evident that the standard of medical education in the country is so poor and only MUHS is to be blamed. Following initial complaints, a secret pilot project was launched wherein it was found that MBBS students hardly study for exams and widespread copying practices by passing of supplements, E-books on mobiles, micro Xeroxes and open book exams are prevalent in most medical colleges. In some cases, it was found that the question papers are leaked by the Houseman or Registrars a day prior to the exam and students simply insert 'Answers Written Supplements' with other sheets before submitting their papers to the invigilator intern who himself stands guard to help students copy.

Some college managements taking stringent measures installed CCTV cameras in classrooms but often, the camera operators were caught red handed zooming on the female students. With the involvement of Anna Hazare, this copycat doctor issue has now become a political agenda. Baba Ramdev has decided to conduct Yoga classes in seminar halls of medical colleges across the country where students will be taught “Kapal Bhanti” and “Surya Namaskar” which increases concentration so that students start studying and stop copying. Even senior BJP leader Shree L.K. Advani has set out once again in his famous ‘Rath’- The Air conditioned Mercedez Benz bus on a rath yatra to spread awareness among the General practitioners. Congress leaders P. Chitambaram, Pranab Mukherjee, Kapil Sibbal and Dig Vijay Singh visited Ralegaon early this morning urging Anna Hazare to sit on an ‘Anshan’ for this cause pledging full support from the ruling party.

Even though Hazare has not publicly answered the shutterbugs, our inside sources say that he has cowardly refused the offer citing non compliance from medical undergraduates to stop copying. While news channels desperately wait for his official statement, protesting citizen group 'Me Anna' has labeled the copycat Doctors as ticking Time Bombs waiting to explode anytime and claim more lives if not defused immediately.

Many morally enlightened General Practitioners have come forward to return back their MBBS degrees to MUHS in exchange for other career options.

Saturday, December 10, 2011

Playboy group of hospitals to be launched soon, announces Hugh Hefner.


Los Angeles, California: In a wise business decision taken after reading the news article, Playboy owner Hugh Hefner announced his plans to start a Playboy Chain of Hospitals across the globe.

"I owe my long life to all my girlfriends", said the 85 year old Casanova. "I want the world to know the real secret of staying healthy at my age. My Hospitals will have all females right from receptionists to nurses looking absolutely endowed and gorgeous. We plan to showcase our Playboy Hospital collection at the Parsi Fashion week early next year", he added.