Doctor caught accepting pen as bribe, arrested.

Mumbai: A doctor (name withheld) from a leading 7 star hospital LTMGH was caught red handed by IT officials while accepting a pen as bribe from a Medical Representative (MR). Many MRs had made repeated complaints how many doctor from this hospital begged for gifts during Diwali week.With no evidence to support their claim, IT officials decided to visit OPD disguised as Mamas and see for themselves.

"Although doctors are allowed to accept gifts costing up to Rs.999, this particular pen was packed in a cardboad box with 'Made in Dharavi' written over it, we are trying to ascertain its cost", said IT official Isrutnissa. Smoke billowed from the ears of the doctor while he as being taken away."I am innocent, even the HOD ( Head of the department) was given this pen", he shouted across the OPD. The Dean of LTMMC & LTMGH Sangam refused to comment on this issue.

"We suspect the doctor had links to Pappu Injection", said another IT official. It is now very clear that the gift giving racket runs into Crores as Faking news has claimed for years. Whether or not the doctor will come out clean remains to be seen but the hospital authorities and other doctors beng tight lipped about the issue points in a different direction altogether.

The many CCTV cameras which were put for decoration in LTMGH have now been repaired and switched on (Another issue going on as to who will bear the cost of the electricity bill, the patients or BMC). Medical Representativs have now been banned from the hospital premises and a board has been put up for at the entrance which reads, " Patients and MRs not allowed, trespassers will be prosecuted".

Girls to wear cap & mast during viva exams, male medical students celebrate.

Mumbai : In a historic judgement hailed as the victory of justice by the male medical students, the Lokmanya Tilak Municipal Medical College Management has made it mandatory for all females to appear for viva exams wearing the hospital cap & mask. The domination of female toppers in exams had drawn huge cry against the marking system in the past. Male students often complained that their female counterparts hardly prepared for the exams, were always found discussing clothes and jewellery in the female common room and were not asked many questions in vivas by the pervert male examiners. Often the girls with a beautiful smile, pretty eyes or a sexy figure would end up getting higher scores than the hard working boys who slog for hours in the college library.

"Just because God was unfair in giving us the curves does not mean we study less", complained Yashant supported by nodding from hundred other boys. Their voices were unheard for few days until they threatened to boycott the 47 condom machines installed in the hospital campus. The college management citing financial losses quickly called for a crisis meeting where it was decided to bow down to the unrealistic demands. The news was welcomed by the local tailor Baburao who expects his business to peak due to the foreseen demand of stitched caps and masks.

This judgement which has brought a grin to many pretty faces was cheered by a section of ugly girls too.

Stray dog takes pole position at the F1 Indian GP.

Noida (U.P)-  In a shocking incident to highlight the plight of the stray dogs, a local bitch Chammak Chaloo jumped the security barricades during practice run at the newly built Budh International Circuit. While running on the track at 350 km/hr, she barked in protest accusing the Mayawati Government of wrongfully encroaching their land. No sooner did the organizers realize the intrusion, they asked the safely car to be deployed with Micheal Schumacher at the drivers seat to try and persuade the bitch for an under the table settlement which he refused to oblige saying,"I will never be able to overtake the bitch on her home circuit". The organizers then announced through the camera crew helicopter that the bitch will be given a bone signed by all drivers but she did not stop running saying she wanted to first set the lap record. She barked that no one should try to stop her otherwise she will sit on a hunger strike in the Pit Lane.

With no option left, Ra-One and G-one were called from a nearby theater with a lot of persuasion to team up and stop the bitch from running amok. She could only be caught when she stopped to pee in the typical 'raising the 1 leg doggie position' at a pole near the finish line. Shah Rukh Khan reportedly pocketed a cool 5 crores for it and a chance to climb on stage with Lady Gaga to persuade that bitch to be his Chammak Challo.When Mayawati was asked why such a shameful incident had happened, she said "It is a conspiracy of Rahul Gandhi's puppy to malign the peace in the state. I request the center to order a CBI probe" Her comments have raised eyebrows in the stray dog community and who came out in large numbers demanding the immediate release of Chammak Challo.

Hearing the reports of such security breach, Metallica, the world famous rock band decided to postpone their concert which was to be held at Gurgaon till the matter is not resolved. This had the fans fuming who set fire to any stray dog and bitch they could get hold of and the army had to be called in to stop them. PETA has strongly criticized this heinous act and asked the Prime Minister to intervene in the matter.

The incident today has already raised the entertainment bar of F1 as a sport and  fans around the world are excited to see more unexpected entertainment. The circuit gets applause or not remains to be seen but Chammak Chalo has definately become an overnight sensation with almost 2 million hits on her official You tube channel already. Before printing,there were unconfirmed reports that the organizers have decided that the winner's trophy will be handed over by Chammak Challo herself.

IN OTHER NEWS :
Metallica Concert cancelled – SRK celebrates Diwali -
Gurgaon (U.P) Bollywood Superstar Shah Rukh Khan is ecstatic with the cancellation of the Metallica concert in Gurgaon. He has successfully tied up with the organizers to give free Ra-One tickets to all fans as refund instead of the money. Ra-One was later seen bursting firecrackers with G-one.

Nirvana...

This is not a article or a post…it is a long due spontaneous flow of thoughts which I wanted to be frozen in time on my blog…At 24 years of age, I feel as though I have achieved enlightenment…Moksha…I now know the key happiness…be positive no matter what…I feel I have understood the philosophy of life…I feel closer to God each day…so much mature.

Until few months from now, it was money which drove me…materialistic love…cars, bikes, gadgets…I was always unhappy about the sacrifices on the road to becoming a doctor…I always took life too seriously..working hard..missing out on things..but off lately,I have been living a dream balanced life..studies..work..health..meditation..recreation..guitar..music..
writing..friends.. social work..everything has been maintained well..

There was a time during medical years that I had hit rock bottom…There was no ambition…I did think about leaving everything to become a sage…But the fire burning in my belly to make it big never let my spirit to bow down…Today, I’m filled with immense energy to make everything perfect around me…influence lives…I ‘m proud to be a doctor, to help people…Thankful to my parents, teachers.

Looking back in life, I have lived a dream 24 years…There is nothing more a person could achieve balancing everything…studies, sports, society, extra curricular participation, family, social work, etc…I love to be loved, respected, appreciated but with time I have learned to keep my feet on the ground…My friends used to tell me often, “ bahut udta hai”…I don’t deny it either, I had attitude, was childish at times, made mistakes…but who does not ? Time teaches you a lot..and I have grown with it..met some wonderful people, read some exceptional books, traveled…I’m happy to be who I am…There is not a thing I would want to change about me now.

Just cannot wait to fast forward into the future…but it sure doesn’t matter to me anymore…Life is not about having a fat bank balance...adding degrees to your visiting card…luxury homes and cars…But life is about living every moment of this awesome journey…experiences…meeting people…loving your family…doing what you love and loving what you do…always keeping the smile..finding time for yourself... forgiving people…not looking back too much into sad memories of past..pursuing hobbies…social involvement…always having something to look up to…something to die for…to achieve…Surprisingly, I have my life’s every fortnights planner scheduled till next July, committed to my dates…Lets see where life takes…whats in store for me…But I truly feel blessed for being who I am..Thank you God, I know you have sent me here for a purpose and I won’t disappoint you…You will pat my shoulder when I get back…I will have tales to tell you about this beautiful life as we raise a toast to “A Mission Accomplished” !!

Keetabi keede behind the books.

The life cycle of doctors before we are ready to fly to the outer world from our cocoon of struggle , frustration and boredom comprises of the following 5 stages :-

1) Slogging at the hospital

2) Studying in the lecture hall or clinic room

3) Eating anywhere from canteen to roadside food or bananas in ward

4) Sitting and wasting time in the Library

5) Sleeping (we are a veteran at those)

Even if we wish to customize our qualifications to post graduation or super specialization, the 5 stages remain the same year after year for all medicos. Apart from the medical knowledge, a skill we all develop over the sleep deprived years is the tendency to sleep anywhere, and in any position…in lectures, practicals, dissection room, Operation theaters, casualty, the air conditioned library...you name it and there would be someone to set an example…. from the ability to sleep while standing holding the handle in a jam packed local train, to sleeping on a series of benches put together  in the clinic room…. from sleeping on card boards of cartons brought by mamas in casualty to the comfortable infected beds  in the Emergency medical services…. we have done it all…. but nothing comes close to sleeping in the air conditioned library next to friends/ girlfriends asking the unknown junior sitting in front to wake you up after 15-30 minutes…the heaven for most hostelites where they complete most part of their sleep due to the lack of sleep in the sweaty mosquito infested hostels. The library also serves as the favorite tourist destination for most college couples who pretend to be sitting and studying for hours giving a false impression to parents about how hardworking their child is. The following is a description of just another routine day in the college library and I have tried my best to bring out humor in it too. 

Librabry ke kone mein, (Khopcha in mumbaiya language)

Chipa baitha tha Ek couple,

Fuut rahe the mann mein unke,

Pyar ki ummedon ke bubble.

Kitabon ke piche done ke beech,

Jab chal raha tha Nain Matakka,

Tabhi wahan boyfriend ka achanak,

Ek boring dost aa tapka.

Bola, “Meri Phatti padi hai,

Tera kitna hua, main raat bhar padha”,

Boyfriend bola, “Saale, bass hone hee wala tha, (pun intended)

Tu kyun sir par ho gaya khada ?

Lecture bunk karke toh ,

Ab hai time humein mila,

Romance yahan ho raha tha,

Pakane ko main hi tujhe mila ? “

Idhar dost ka muh latka,

Udhar pyar ke mood ki bali hui,

Aur phir ‘nakchadi’ girlfriend bhi,

Gusse mein jane ko khadi hui.

“Bhad mein jao dono”, bola boyfriend,
Romance ka mood hi khatam ho gaya,
Phir sir apna rakhke ussi table par,
Gehri chain ki neend woh so gaya…

Education for sale.

“Education is not the filling of a pail, but the Lighting of a Fire” ….. a thought no one can deny. From the age of the sacred schools called ‘Gurukul’ to world famous old centers like Nalanda and Takshila Universities, from IIMs and IITs to institute like PGI and AIIMS, we Indians have plenty to boast with regard to our education heritage. But today, we have reached an era where the entire education system is corrupted and commercialized.

Students in villages to small towns to cities have understood that it is education alone that will help them live with dignity and a head held high. This has led to a massive migration of students towards cities where there are plenty of colleges and better job opportunities. Over the last few years, the cost of education right from play schools to post graduation institutes has risen exponentially and its quality has ‘faithfully’ been inversely proportional. The temples of education have now become money making hubs. People are now willing to pay unimaginable amount of money, earned by fair or unfair means, wanting their child to be privileged to the best of education. As a result, hundreds of private colleges have sprung up across the country providing every course possible under one roof but with no proper infrastructure or the faculty to teach. Politicians having thousands of Crores stashed in bank accounts abroad find a good money making investment in building an educational institute…after all its easy to usurp the public land and construct the building…provide centralized air conditioned class rooms, free laptops and foreign trips to affiliated universities with similar interests…..but no real education !

All private colleges/Universities now want an autonomous status…..become deemed…not because they want make their own customized curriculum to improve the standard of education but because the chances to ‘sell’ seats is higher..The inflow of cash under the table would be easier…the percentage of management and NRI seats can be raised as per their fancy…Exams can be conducted in ‘Pencil Paper’ format and so that results can be erased and altered later. The placements offered from such colleges are even more disappointing. And the cost of the course itself takes years to recover with the packages offered to the students.

Coaching classes are another partner in crime who is hand in glove in this money minting racket, tying up with schools and colleges for sending students to their classes and in return paying royalty on annual basis per student. My fee for the 10th, 12th and medical entrance coaching itself was greater than the cost of 4.5 years in MBBS ! ….and that was 7 years back, I’m sure it would have skyrocketed now.

With my MBA exams coming close, I feel frustrated at times to be applying to different B-schools and paying them between Rs.1500 – 2000 in the name of registration alone. Lakhs of aspiring students like me register for the 60-100 available seats and the college trustees are laughing all the way to the bank for making Crores without any pains.

I’m writing this since I’m angry and frustrated at the way things are going on…According to a recent report in the Times of India newspaper, people have forgotten to live happily, enjoying life…I really don’t understand what is all the rat race for ? This post will hardly make any difference since people will continue to pay Lakhs and Crores for Medical, Engineering , MBA and other courses….after all everyone is now searching for the sign board which reads “ Education for sale…hurry…offers valid till seats last.”